WHEN father-of-two Edmund O’Leary shared a desperate tweet saying “I am not ok” late last Friday night, he only ever expected a couple of friends to reply.
But Edmund, 53, from Epsom Surrey, who has suffered with depression for the past 10 years, was quickly inundated with responses from around the world.
The former mental health worker has been unemployed for 18 months and has lived alone since his divorce to the mother of his twin sons, Patrick and Connor, 22.
The pandemic and lockdown has taken a devastating toll on his mental health and, as he explained in his tweet, he was “feeling rock bottom".
His candid tweet garnered thousands of messages, pictures and videos and has now been viewed 19 million times.
Edmund, who now has more than 15,000 Twitter followers, now tells EMMA PIETRAS what prompted him to send the message and how the kindness of strangers has given him hope…
'I ended up totally isolated'
AS my phone pinged, I opened up my emails to find yet another rejection. I must have applied for at least 50 jobs since the start of the year.
Applying for a job you’re more than qualified to do is depressing. The whole business of looking for a job right now, aged 53, is soul destroying.
I’m not being given the opportunity to shine because they won’t even give me an interview.
For someone like me, who likes to listen to the radio or watch the news on TV, I now feel cut off from the world because constant coverage of the pandemic leaves me depressed and anxious.
I no longer go to the pub because I don’t feel comfortable and with all the restrictions, it’s hard to enjoy yourself as you’re forced to drink your pint alone.
Often, my only social interaction is with the person behind the till at my local Co-Op. The staff are so friendly and I go there a few times a week instead of doing a big shop just for a bit of company.
I’m one of five siblings and all of my family live in Ireland. Connor lives in Dublin and is studying for a PhD, while Patrick lives a few miles away with his mum.
During lockdown, I wasn’t able to see either of them. I ended up totally isolated. I’ve had very few visits.
'I soon realised my little tweet was on its way to Mars'
This year has been awful. It's a nightmare for me. I'm a people person.
The clocks change this weekend and I was dreading the winter.
Friday was a particularly dark day for me. I’d spent a big chunk of the day in bed because I couldn’t face getting up.
By about 11pm, I didn’t know what to do. Then I remember I have a Twitter friend who also suffers from mental health issues. He often posts messages, such as “If you see this tweet, can you say hi?’ and when I see it, I always try to respond. It makes his day.
So I thought if this works for my friend, perhaps I should give it a try. It took me seconds to compose the tweet.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
I soon realised my little tweet was on its way to Mars. Replies flooded in. I started responding to each one but I quickly realised that wasn’t possible.
One of my favourites was from a mum of a young boy in America who had insisted she reply.
She told me that he had said to her, ‘Can you send a message to Edmund O'Leary right now. He needs to love himself more. I'm really concerned about him'.
She sent a photo of him with some Lego he had made for me. She said you have got to take care of yourself.
I found it bizarre. I don't know these people but this little boy somewhere in America wanted me to know he and his mum love me and want me to get better.
The kindness of strangers makes a huge impact. It just shows that many strangers are just friends you have never met before.
'I've been offered a holiday to the Caribbean with my sons'
Around 19 million people are batting for me. That has given me hope and a lift.
It was my birthday on Monday and Virgin Atlantic contacted me to offer me a holiday to the Caribbean with my sons. They have assured me they will look after everything. I never expected this.
I’m absolutely overwhelmed. This doesn’t happen to ordinary people like me. But mental health issues can affect everyone.
Prince William is right when he said Britain may be heading for a mental health catastrophe if people are not able to socialise due to Covid restrictions.
5 top tips to maintain good mental health
- Connect
Social relationships are vital for promoting wellbeing and for acting as a buffer against mental health issues.
Try calling someone, instead of sending a text or email
Speak to someone new from a safe distance
2. Be physically active
Not only is being active great for your physical health and fitness, evidence also shows it can boost your mental wellbeing.
Go for a walk in your local park at lunchtime
Try a new challenge such as the free Couch to 5K app
3. Give to others
Studies suggest that acts of giving and kindness can help improve your mental wellbeing by creating positive feelings and a sense of purpose and self-worth.
Organise a whatsapp group to check in on elderly or vulnerable neighbours and offer to run errands
Volunteer with your local food bank. To find out how, go to https://www.trusselltrust.org/
4. Learn
Learning throughout life enhances self-esteem and encourages social interaction. Setting goals has also been associated with higher levels of wellbeing.
Challenge yourself to do a crossword or Sudoku once a week
Start a virtual book club
5. Take five
Being aware of what is taking place in the present directly enhances your well-being and savouring ‘the moment’ can help to reaffirm your life priorities, according to research.
Take a different route to or from work or on your daily walk
Try making something new for lunch or dinner
As we head into an uncertain future and yet more lockdowns, more and more people will find themselves isolated from family and friends.
I have been supported by a local charity, Love Me Love My Mind, which I became a trustee of. I used to attend its weekly drop in where we would share a cup of tea and companionship once a week.
But since Covid, this has had to stop and now we can only keep in touch via a weekly newsletter, which is not the same.
So I am urging people to take the time to chat to someone because you never know it might be their only interaction that day – or even week.
Twitter has been my lifeline but we also need to go back to basics and connect more.
Reach out to someone you love. Sometimes picking up the phone and having a conversation is all that is required.
For more information, visit Mind here.
Contact the Samaritans
If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article contact The Samaritans on 116 123. They are available for free at anytime.
Or email https://www.samaritans.org/
Source: Read Full Article