Written by Amy Beecham
It’s nearly the new year and we’re all feeling naturally reflective. Here, 25 Stylist readers open up about the biggest lessons they’ve learned in 2022, and what they’re taking into 2023.
You don’t need me to tell you that 2022 was a transformational year in many ways. Individually and collectively, we faced challenges, only to come out of the other side a little jaded, but ready for what 2023 might bring. And we’ve certainly learned some important lessons along the way.
Ahead of the new year, Stylist asked 25 women to tell them about the most important lesson they learned in 2022. This is what they said.
“To treat others with softness”
“My lesson from this year has been to have more humility and compassion, and to treat others with softness. I have been reflecting on what I call the walking wounded; 2022 has made me realise that so many people we come into contact with are suffering behind the scenes. My aim is to be kind and understanding towards those I encounter in my day-to-day life, and to never forget that so many of us are struggling.” Amy, 47
“To ignore other people’s timelines”
“As a mum, you don’t start to feel like yourself right away or even on the same timeline as your friends. My daughter is two now and I just now am seeing signs of me and feeling like I know my body again.” Genieva, 32
“To be fearless in the pursuit of my passions”
“I learned that everything I want is always on the other side of fear. In order to achieve my wants and fulfil my passions, I need to be fearless; I need to know I CAN, I need to embed the idea of greatness in order to attract greatness. I learned that overcoming fear starts with high self worth, self value and self love. Your wants start with you and your mindset. You have to be fearless in order to achieve greatness.”Rokeya, 35
“To let go”
“The most important lesson I’ve learned in 2022 is to let go. Let go of anything that doesn’t serve you. If it doesn’t bring happiness, love or light, it’s got to go. 2022 was a year of change. Some things we had no control over; however, a lot we did. I’m going into 2023 feeling free, determined to make even more change and I’m more on my path than ever before.” Estelle, 40
“To value my own time better in relationships”
“No more taking on girlfriend duties at a talking stage salary in 2023.” Katie, 20
“How to get comfortable with being uncomfortable”
“The lesson learned this year is something I secretly knew but never really paid attention to: sometimes the only thing to do when you’re feeling stagnant or like nothing is going your way in life is to purposely put yourself in that uncomfortable place, whatever that might be for you. This year I opened up to a friend about how I’d been quietly struggling. It was a little uncomfortable and my relationships with certain friends have changed, but ultimately it was for the best and that brief moment of discomfort has led to a really crucial moment of understanding for me. So take that uncomfortable step, whether it’s giving someone you trust permission to dig deep or giving up alcohol or doing that thing alone – it could lead you to a happier, more fulfilled you” Zoe, 24
“If you don’t make time for yourself, no one will do it for you”
“In January 2022, I hit rock bottom after trying to recover from the trauma of almost losing our baby, raising two children under four and growing my business. I realised it all started with me and I had the power to start recovery myself: daily meditation slowly led to further daily and weekly healthy habits including twice weekly pilates and barre classes. My family, business and life isn’t perfect, but it is so much better for me after carving out my own time to heal.” Caroline, 34
“The only thing constant in life is change”
“My learning for 2022 comes from my daughter’s favourite book from when she was younger: We’re Going On A Bear Hunt. Times aren’t always going to be easy and when it does get hard, sometimes you can’t go over it, can’t go under it, can’t go around it. You’ve got to go through it. The only thing constant in life is change.” Natalie, 39
“Don’t let things fester”
“For me, the biggest lesson I learned in 2022 is to not waste time letting things fester. Not saying how you feel both personally and professionally can often be so dangerous and end up causing so much unnecessary stress that could have quite simply been resolved with a simple discussion. A lot of the time we fear confrontation; myself included. But I have learned the hard way that letting things fester can often result in emotions resurfacing elsewhere and in a way you wouldn’t have wanted. Going into 2023, I won’t be doing this.” Jennifer, 34
“To be resilient”
“The most valuable lesson I learned is: ‘Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from doing what you can.’” Sam, 44
“To be more comfortable in my own skin”
“In 2022, I have learned to be a lot more comfortable in my own skin. I’ve also realised how to stop letting things live rent-free in my brain and consuming me. I have learned that the only reason I feel so crappy when someone does something to upset me, is because of the way I react, and it’s me that allows me to react this way. This has helped me to let things go far easier.” Kerrie, 31
“To back myself”
“The biggest lesson I learned in 2022 is that when you back yourself, there isn’t room for others not to do the same.” Esme, 26
“Time-frames aren’t that important”
“I learned that age and time frames aren’t that important. When I was younger, I had dreams of being engaged and married in my 20s. Well I got engaged at 34 and it was just as special as I had imagined. It really made me realise that even if I achieve things at an older age than I had planned it doesn’t make those things any less special. At no point was I thinking, ‘Oh, this engagement is great, but it would have been better 10 years earlier.’ I just felt happy, lucky, blessed. It’s great to have goals, but I think I have been focusing way too much on age.”Linda, 35
“Take every opportunity as it comes”
“One lesson I learned was to take every opportunity as it comes. Sometimes setting too many goals makes you closed off to potential opportunities. Just say yes!Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable has opened many doors for me this year.” Rushan, 27
“Don’t shy away from challenges”
“Starting a new challenge can be tricky, but it gets easier once you stick with it over time and back yourself always.”Angela, 25
“To prioritise self-care”
“The biggest lesson I learnt this year was to prioritise self-care. There will always be chores that need doing and life admin to attend to, but you can’t run on an empty tank. Sometimes you need to just lie on the sofa and watch Sex And The City reruns when the opportunity presents itself.” Jenny, 36
“To expect less of myself”
“The most important lesson I learned this year is to notice when I am at the mercy of my own expectations. I have learned to realise when I am pushing myself too hard, expecting too much of others, or striving for something that might be unnecessary. Taking time to recalibrate in these situations allows me to look back in with a fresh perspective.” Nichola, 44
“You can’t live your life dying of politeness”
“I’ve lived most of my life trying to avoid conflict where possible and being sickly sweet in the workplace. For example, in the face of authority figures… and all it’s meant is I now find it difficult to find (and raise) my voice. This year I’ve really been trying to be more vocal about my thoughts and opinions in the workplace and to practise boundaries. People tend to respect my opinion now more than ever, and I feel like I can trust my voice again.”Emma, 24
“To prioritise yourself over everything”
“Your mental and physical health is of utmost importance. You can at times put yourself last when you’re trying to reach a goal, but without the above two things in check, everything you are trying to achieve becomes much harder.” Sian, 30
“To advocate for myself”
“More than anything, I need to be an advocate for my own needs.” Sara, 24
“To stop multitasking”
“After years of trying, I have finally realised that I will never be good at multitasking… a job well done requires time and focus.” Margaret, 49
“Knowing my worth”
“The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is knowing my worth and taking control of situations that I previously would have been passive with.” Grace, 25
“To prioritise my financial health”
“As someone whose relationship with money has often been fraught and painfully detrimental, I was surprised when news of the looming financial crash didn’t send me into a familiar panic about how I’ll ever get by. I’m not someone who has savings, assets or family to cushion my frequent falls into financial woe. And the pressure to have a rigid plan that would completely clear my debt (and stress) has been a strange emotional barrier to pursuing one. That said, the cost of living crisis forced me to seek a sense of control over my money that I’ve never truly felt before. Daily reminders to pop a couple of quid into a new account for which I don’t have a physical debit card has proved really annoying. Vocalising to my partner what I have available to spend at the end of the week or month is consistently terrifying, even though I know that there is no shame in financial strain (if that’s not a slogan somewhere, it should be). Nevertheless, I’m doing it. I’m looking ahead to 2023 with a newfound pride in the little things that make me feel like I’m making conscious decisions about my financial future. I’ve realised that, actually, money isn’t a one and done type of project that you can always set a timeframe to. For me, at least, it’s a day-by-day journey that I’m starting to feel more comfortable with.” Jazmin, 29
“How to spend my time right”
“Coming out of lockdown, it felt like I had loads to catch up on. My biggest lesson of 2022 would be learning proper time management. Prioritise your to-do lists and try not to be hard on yourself the days you feel like you can’t juggle it all. The more in your own head you become about having a lot on your plate, the harder it will be – which is why it’s important to offload.
“Also if you’re feeling overwhelmed, be open with others and they will understand if you need space for yourself. Instead of planning lots of evening plans and burning the candle at both ends, catch up over brunch or activities like a game of tennis or a long walk. I’ve found that socialising without alcohol is also way more enjoyable and makes me feel more connected to my loved ones.” Stef, 30
“To treasure my relationships”
“Being the first year since the pandemic without tight restrictions, 2022 has made me want to lean in and treasure the relationships close to me. Connectivity underpins our sense of belonging, purpose and identify – all fundamental elements of self that can easily feel distorted and somewhat lost when women are juggling so many elements of life.” Layla, 33
Images: Getty
Source: Read Full Article