Fancy ditching a disappointingly unchilled white wine at the pub for champagne on a yacht? “Dating up” is a growing trend in the UK that sees desirable young women dating rich men.
A poll of British singletons found 70% are looking for a relationship that elevates their lifestyles – and Seeking, an online dating agency boasting more than 40 million on its books globally, pledges to match attractive women with successful men.
“There’s currently a definite cultural shift towards women demanding more from their romantic lives,” says dating expert Emma Hathorn. “Instead of boring dinners, these women want luxury.”
Like Jemima, 26, from London. “I discovered the concept of ‘dating up’ from an older gentleman I met at a party,” she says.
“He arrived on our date in a fancy car clutching a huge bouquet. He then introduced me to Seeking and I saw there were so many good-looking, mature, sophisticated men on the site. I’m ambitious and love intellectual conversations. One man I dated helped set up my business. Once you date up, it’s difficult to look back. Why have an off-brand bag or split a bill when you can have Chanel and be treated well?”
Many people might point out that as well as being a materialistic approach to forming relationships, it’s also terribly sexist – the idea that young women are judged by their looks, while the men, often older, are rated on the size of their wallets. But Emma has a different take.
“We often see the relationship dynamic skewed toward ‘old-fashioned’ ideals. But many women really do favour a chivalrous approach, with men picking up the bill. They’re still holding out for that Prince Charming fantasy,” she insists. “By using a specialist dating agency, both parties find the process liberating, while expectations are clear and time isn’t wasted.”
Adela, 25, also from London, agrees. “I decided to ’date up’ when I became more secure in myself as a woman,” she says. “I put up with disappointment while casual dating because I hadn’t grasped my worth. Elevated dating has boosted my confidence.”
Ria, 31, a life coach from Kent, shares her experiences of “dating up”, from champagne- soaked nights out with successful businessmen to calling time on dates with men who she discovers are probably cheating on their partners.
“When I first started dating again, after years of long-term relationships, it was so dull. I said to this guy, “Surprise me” – and he chose my local pub.
Our intellects were different and we struggled. He proudly described how he falls asleep at work. No ambition! Needless to say, I made an excuse to leave.
I joined Hinge but, two hours after signing up, I was inundated – it felt like men casting their hook to see what bites.
Because of my looks, men thought I was catfishing them or that my intellect didn’t fit with my appearance.
I get bored easily and need a high amount of stimulation. My friend told me about Seeking and it sounded fun.
One of my first dates was with a guy in the music industry who wanted an open relationship. We had chemistry, spoke all day over FaceTime while he was in Los Angeles and New York, and arranged to meet up when his plane landed in London.
We had drinks at a five-star hotel and went to a private party that he said I wasn’t allowed to talk about. We ended up at a casino and the whole night was absolutely incredible. For our next date, he rented a boat on the Thames and we had a chilled-out party with lots of champagne, mingling with famous people.
Now the men I meet not only ask me what I‘d like to do but actually follow through on it. It’s about experiences for me and you get access to those through money. It’s an absolutely gorgeous prospect to borrow your date’s lifestyle for an evening, a week or however long your understanding lasts.
One date took me on a champagne pub crawl around central London, trying every variety on offer, and then on to The Savoy for a show. Another date took me to his country pile for a clay pigeon shoot – naturally, I was better than him. Next month, I’ve been invited to Rome on a date.
On most dating sites, there’s too much small talk – it’s a waste of time. The men I now chat to are direct about what they want and I appreciate that – you’re all there to get something. Men might have a particular interest, like a particular kink they’re into, or they might be upfront about already having a partner and wanting someone to date while they’re travelling.
I’m open to dating someone who’s in a relationship if their partner knows and fully understands the nature of their open relationship. That responsibility is on them – their loyalty is to their partner. ButI can often tell when my date’s partner doesn’t know and I’ve stopped speaking to them for that reason.
I had one guy who said, “I’d love to arrange a date, but I want guaranteed intimacy from the start.” I refused, but he came back again, trying his luck. That’s the worst experience I’ve had though. I always feel safe – the men I meet are worldly, successful people, who travel all the time and have their lives in order.
A lot of men have jetted into the UK for work and want company because they’re sick of travelling on their own for 200 days a year. They want conversation over dinner or to rant about things in their life. I like talking to strangers because you can be more honest than in your own circles. I get people of all ages messaging me but it’s rare that I’ll be contacted by someone younger – age goes with experience in my eyes.
I’m contacted by men looking to spend their retirement having some fun, divorcees with a new lease of life and everyone from men in the music industry to film producers, doctors and even lorry drivers who have side businesses and a lot more money than you’d think. I even had a billionaire approach me, but I’m hesitant to date somebody that rich.
I’m open to seeing what happens. That’s not to say that I don’t know what I want because I very much do know what I want. I’ve gone through years of not having this much freedom because I was working hard or in relationships that didn’t work for me. I’m in my thirties, I’m done with compromising and, for now, I’m being selfish with my experiences and having fun.”
READ NEXT:
‘I’m a fertility psychic who predicts baby gender and when mums will give birth’
Power struggles and commitment issues – how to survive the 7 relationship stages
'Why you’ve been ghosted explained – and how to move on and avoid zombieing'
‘My perfect Hinge date has multiple fake profiles, how can I trust anyone I meet online?’
Sign up to our daily newsletter for exclusive real life interviews, health news and more
Source: Read Full Article