Deborah James says her children 'will be okay' when she dies
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Speaking on BBC Breakfast, Deborah, who is also known as Bowel Babe, broke down in tears as she thought about missing out on key life events with her children. Deborah invited the BBC into her family home where she has chosen to have hospice-at-home care. She explained she knows her children will be looked after but can’t stop thinking about how much she will miss.
“You know I always said to you, I don’t want to leave a stone unturned, I don’t think there is a stone we haven’t tried to turn in order to make my liver work again, in order to get my body functioning but unfortunately, I’m exhausted, I’m absolutely exhausted,” Deborah began.
“I’m at the point where I know I can’t really do anything more.”
Deborah started You, Me and the Big C as she underwent a variety of different treatments and has inspired many people to get checked for bowel cancer symptoms.
After taking the public along on her journey, Deborah has chosen to now have hospice care at home surrounded by her family.
“I have a really loving family who I adore and I honestly, they’re just incredible,” she said through tears.
“All I knew I wanted to come here and be able to relax knowing everything as OK.
“We’ve had some really hard conversations in the last week. You think, ‘Gosh how can anybody have those conversations,’ and then you find yourself in the middle of them.
“People are very nice but you’re almost talking about your own death and I’ve had five years to prepare for my death.
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“I don’t feel begrudged or think I haven’t tried anything or feel like we’ve run out of drugs but I’m still not quite there yet.”
Videos and images of Deborah were shown as she broke down in tears before speaking about her children.
Deborah commented: “I know that my kids are going to be more than looked after and surrounded by love.
“You always want to know as a mother your kids are going to be OK.
“My kids are going to be fine but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to miss every chance I could have had with them.”
Deborah broke down in tears as the screen went black as she thought about leaving her children behind.
The interview came after Deborah spoke on 5Live and broke down as she signed off her podcast for the final time.
She told the You, Me and the Big C podcast team: “Well, thank you guys for everything.
“For being partners in crime in the club that you never wanted to be part of and listening to You, Me and the Big C all the way.
“And it’s been an absolute honour and a privilege to be part of it.
“And thank you for all the energy, the enthusiasm, the feedback… the love that we’ve got from you.
“And remember, there’s loads of episodes you can listen to on BBC Sounds or other podcast places and I suppose… that’s it from me.”
BBC Breakfast airs daily on BBC One from 6am.
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