DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my wife went to a party that sells lingerie and “bedroom accessories” she’s been a different woman.

When we first met four years ago she said she didn’t want me to watch porn. I’ve always kept my promise.

After that party last month she admitted watching porn on the night I worked late. This seemed like one rule for me and one rule for her. We agreed in future we would only watch porn together.

I checked on her history a week after that, and I saw she’d been watching porn alone on her day off.

We had a big row as we’d had an agreement but she’s now behaving like I’m in the wrong. Am I am being pathetic? I’m very confused. I’m 27 and she’s 28.

DEIDRE SAYS: Snoopingis is never a good look but she sounds very defensive.

Tell her you know it’s tricky to discuss but you need to talk about the feelings it brings up for you both.
And you should both be aware that porn tends to have a numbing effect if you watch too much of it, so you both need to make sure that real-life sex with each other takes priority.

My e-leaflet on Internet Pornography Worries will help.

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