DEAR DEIDRE: IF I want sex with my husband, I have to climb on top to get him in the mood.

He’s 54 and kisses and cuddles me – and says if he didn’t fancy me, he wouldn’t have sex.

He’s a builder and works hard.

I work in a pharmacy and am 50.

I’d like sex at least three or four times a week but he never instigates it.

I don’t understand.

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I thought men thought about sex every seven seconds?

I’d love it if he’d tell me he wants me and then act on it, instead of just lying there.

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DEIDRE SAYS: My guess is there’s something else going on for him – stress, depression, tiredness or even performance anxiety?

He’s got a physical job so sex at night time might not be his thing.

Suggest he has a check-up with his doctor to ensure he’s fit and well.

If all is well, explain how you feel and suggest that a nice massage for him may help you to reconnect, followed by a bit of morning passion after a good night’s sleep.

You may find he’s more receptive to that.

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