Forget fashion, finances and fancy dates, emotional vulnerability is the new top priority for daters.

That’s according to new data from dating app Hinge, which found that 93% of people are looking for emotional vulnerability in a date, trumping more superficial preferences like looks.

The research, which surveyed 4,000 Hinge users about the number one traits they look for in a date, found that almost two-thirds (61%) find emotional vulnerability more important than attractiveness, income or height, making it the ultimate green flag.

In fact, 66% of respondents said they are more likely to go on a second date with someone who shows emotional vulnerability on the first.

But baring your feelings can be scary, which is likely why many people – men especially – find it so difficult: 75% of men said they never or rarely show vulnerability on first dates, with 40% worrying it would be a turn off. 

How to be more emotionally vulnerable on a first date

When it comes to what to open up about, it’s less about oversharing and more about being yourself. 

Rather than speaking at length about childhood trauma, people want their dates to open up about their values (84%), their feelings (65%) and their relationship hopes and fears (63%) – all of which are considered green flags. 

The research also chimes with research by dating app Bumble, which found that one in three people want their dates to be more open about their finances.

But while it can be tricky to toe the line between emotional vulnerability and showing your hand too soon, there are some easy ways to let your date into your headspace just enough on a first date. 

Share something personal

According to Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, we too often stay at the ‘shallow end of the pool’ on dates, asking surface level questions about work or the weather.

But she tells Metro.co.uk, ‘Real connection comes from real vulnerability.’

‘That means sharing what’s going on for you in your life,’ she continues.

‘Go to the deeper end by talking about a hobby or topic you’re passionate about, something you have learned that’s changed your perspective or something that challenged you this week. 

‘Your date will appreciate your candour and the conversation will be more memorable.’

Be yourself

‘When you first meet someone, it can be tempting to present an edited, smoothed-out version of ourselves,’ says Logan.

But this is the opposite of being emotionally vulnerable – and your date is likely to meet the real you eventually, if everything works out in your favour. 

‘Be upfront from the beginning about who you are, so you don’t have to do a big reveal later,’ Logan adds. 

Put your phone away

While this might be a given, putting your phone away is vital for cultivating emotional vulnerability between two people, especially on a first date. 

‘Using your phone during a date is a surefire way to short circuit an emotional bond,’ says Logan. 

‘People will be less willing to share if they feel like you’re distracted, and it will also take you out of the moment.’

Instead Logan recommends kicking off the date by asking the other person how they’d feel about the two of you committing to putting your phone out of sight.

‘You’ll show you care and increase your chances of the date going well,’ she says. 

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