Katharine McPhee is reflecting on her pregnancy in her first interview since welcoming her first child with husband David Foster.

The 36-year-old actress and singer was featured on Dr. Berlin’s Informed Pregnancy Podcast and got candid about her fears of relapsing into her eating disorder of bulimia, which she has been open about her struggles with.

“It just suddenly came up in a way that hadn’t been present in a long time,” Katharine says about her biggest challenge of body issues as her bump grew.

She continued, “I have felt really stable in my life in the last four or five years, and my weight has been sort of like more consistent. But feeling like there was a relapse after getting pregnant was really shocking and upsetting and concerning for me, because I was suddenly so obsessed with food, starting from this first trimester.”

“I had such a distortion of the way that I looked. I look back at these pictures and my husband was documenting like every day, because I’d be like, ‘Take a picture of me now. Am I showing?’ And I look back and I’m like, ‘Oh my god, why was I so hard on myself?’”

Katharine revealed that she gained 40 pounds while pregnant and felt “really ravenous” and “very obsessed with food” during her first trimester in particular.

Her worries about relapsing came when there was a feeling “like I was overeating. And then I had that stuffed feeling, where I couldn’t breathe. And I couldn’t figure out if I was just stuffed feeling because there was a new thing in my body that was making me feel stuffed or if I was actually eating too much food. I was eating really fast. And there’s just a lot of anxiety.”

She added, “But I weathered it and I’m really grateful I’m at the end of it, that I feel this good and that I look in the mirror and I’m like, ‘Yeah, my legs, my thighs, my arms are a little bit thicker, but I’m OK with it.’”

In 2010, Katharine opened up about her struggles with bulimia in an interview with Shape magazine.

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