‘William’s deep like his dad, Harry’s a hothead like me.’ Friends of Princess Diana movingly recall the joyful times with her boys back when she could devote herself to them after her divorce
It’s 25 years since the summer when she had to reinvent her life – above all, devoting herself to her sons. Here, with magical pictures, her friends movingly recall those joyful times with her boys.
Our series began in Saturday’s Weekend magazine with her stunning transformation, and today we continue with Diana The Mother.
She was determined to raise William and Harry in a modern way, giving them a solid grounding for the future, and her legacy can be seen today as the princes strive to combine family life with royal duty.
Here, in their own words, Diana’s close confidants tell their stories…
Here, with magical pictures, her friends movingly recall those joyful times with her boys. Our series began in Saturday’s Weekend magazine with her stunning transformation, and today we continue with Diana The Mother
Nish Joshi
Holistic health practitioner
‘We’d watch EastEnders together at Kensington Palace — Diana would sit there in her dressing gown and tell me funny stories. One time Harry told me he thought his mother was bonkers.
‘Tell Nish what happened and ask him what he would have done,’ Diana said to Harry.
He told me the fire alarm had gone off in the middle of the night and staff were evacuating the apartment. Harry went to look for Diana and found his mother putting on her mascara in the bathroom.
‘Come on Mummy, we are going to be burnt.’ She replied, ‘I’m coming in a minute.’ It makes sense to me, I told Harry. ‘But she’s barmy,’ he said.
Diana then said, ‘Harry, within a few minutes I was going to have two dozen firemen in my front garden. I was not going outside in my nightie without my mascara.’
Darren McGrady
Personal chef
‘If she was entertaining she would eat in the dining room with the guest, and William and Harry would join her.
If she had a lunchtime engagement the boys would eat with nanny in the nursery, and at night if she was alone with the boys it would be called ‘all in’ in the dining room.
That meant the starter, main and pudding would all go into the dining room together on the sideboard. That way she didn’t need a butler going in and out listening to things. They could shut the door and be private. Just her and the boys.
‘If they wanted to eat in front of the TV in Charles’s study, which had become their TV room, she would let them. And play on their PlayStations. She wanted them to be normal.’
She was determined to raise William and Harry in a modern way, giving them a solid grounding for the future, and her legacy can be seen today as the princes strive to combine family life with royal duty. Charles and Diana with William and Harry in the official portrait to mark Harry’s christening in 1984
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘I remember my first day meeting Diana at Sandringham. I was shown very dutifully into this room by a butler and all the formal introductions were made.
I hadn’t said anything and the first thing Diana said was, ‘Ken, I don’t envy you looking after my two boys. They can be a bloody nuisance.’
‘William, who was playing a piano, or attempting to, turned round and said in a Just William way, ‘I’m not a ruddy nuisance’, and Harry, who was standing on this small coffee table de-stamenising a vase of lilies, mumbled something, at which point he fell off followed by the vase of flowers.
They both ran out of the room and Diana said, ‘Come here both of you.’ I hadn’t said anything and this was completely unexpected. Diana came back and said, ‘Ken I’m so sorry. You see what I mean?’
It was like speaking to a friend I’d known for a long time. Everyone had said, ‘You’ll take a long time to understand the royals, they can be quite distant and difficult’ and yet Diana was the complete opposite.’
Carolan Brown
Personal trainer
‘One day William and Harry let a stink bomb off in the hall after Diana had taken them to the joke shop, and then they let another off in Charles’s office. He went absolutely mad, but Diana just laughed.’
Ingrid Seward
Author and editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine
‘Diana told me William was very sensitive, and Harry was the artistic and lively one who could cope with anything. William was more academic than Harry but he wasn’t finding Eton very easy at that time, although he had lovely friends there.
She said Harry would go to Eton, otherwise he’d be singled out as being the one who wasn’t so bright, and she worried about his lack of concentration. She said, ‘Harry’s full of energy but he flips from one thing to another and then loses interest.’
Diana is pictured with the boys on a visit to British Transport Police HQ in 1987. Ken Wharfe, former bodyguard, said: ‘Diana didn’t treat William and Harry differently although William was going to be king. They shared her attention’
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘It’s interesting that both Harry and William now, as parents, seem to be making fairly constant reference to their childhood and their mother. When I was first there William and Harry were five and three respectively, and Diana was very much a hands-on mother, albeit a very active member of the Royal Family at that time.
‘She made it quite clear to her private secretaries that she didn’t want any interference in her day before 9.30 in the morning unless it was an overseas visit because she wanted to personally oversee taking the children to school.
‘That was important for her. And she wanted to be back from any engagement at the end of the day so she could be in the nursery for when the kids came back or to oversee an afternoon with their friends.
‘Although they were royal, she didn’t want them to be locked in the castle, as it were, so she encouraged them to have these reciprocal days out with their friends. In her favourite words, she wanted to be ‘as normal as possible’ as a parent.
‘That was one of her catchphrases. She was always saying to me, ‘Ken, I want to be normal’, believing of course that where she was was far from normal. I think she achieved most of that. She was certainly fun to be with and the kids loved that.’
Ingrid Seward Author and editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine, said: ‘Diana told me William was very sensitive, and Harry was the artistic and lively one who could cope with anything. William was more academic than Harry but he wasn’t finding Eton very easy at that time, although he had lovely friends there’
Sarah Bradford
Also known as Viscountess Bangor, royal biographer
‘I don’t think the Queen could understand how important it was to Diana to be a hands-on mother. I remember one courtier describing the Queen as ‘frigid’ when Diana and the boys came to tea.
I understand what he was trying to say but it wasn’t so much frigidity as shyness. She was holding back because their ideas on bringing up children were different.
Once at Balmoral, when William was very small, his nanny was on holiday so Diana was looking after him.
The Queen was surprised and said, ‘I don’t understand why Diana has to do this; there are millions of housemaids around.’
It shows the huge divide between parenting then, in Diana’s era, and even today with William and Harry who are proving to be extremely hands-on fathers.’
Darren McGrady
Personal chef
‘Diana never ate cake, and never had afternoon tea. She would have fruit in the afternoon — a banana, apple or orange, or a cup of rose Pouchong tea — William and Harry would have teacakes.
‘Many times they were at school for birthdays or with the Queen or with friends. She never usually sent them cakes but once she ordered a cake for William.
‘When I came in for the evening shift I found there was a cake in the fridge in the shape of a huge pair of boobs with huge nipples on. I ran through to the butler and asked who ordered it and it was the princess for William’s 13th birthday — he’d just got into his teens.
He had a super crush on Christy Turlington and Claudia Schiffer, and her hairdresser, Sam McKnight, knew them and got them to come to KP and have an afternoon birthday tea with William and his big cake!
‘Kate Moss had been invited but she didn’t come. William was bright red and gurning all afternoon. The princess loved it, she had a great sense of humour like that!’
Jenni Rivett
Personal trainer
‘I remember William and Harry fighting to hold my daughter Kirsti when I brought her in her carrycot to the palace. Diana gave me a beautiful jumper for her just before she was born with a note saying, ‘A little something for your bundle should it arrive while I’m away.’
I lived nearby so I could go at short notice and bring the baby, and Kirsti was often left sleeping in the corner of the sitting room. The boys loved her and used to play with her.’
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘Being flirtatious was part of her style and certainly an incident at her mother’s house in Scotland involving William showed that he was aware of this.
Diana had asked me if I wanted her to wash my shirts. I said, ‘No Ma’am, that’s ridiculous’, but she said, ‘No, I like washing’ so I threw a couple in.
‘The next morning I came in and she was ironing my shirts. She was standing there with only a towel around her and William came in and said, ‘Oh, why are you doing Ken’s shirts?’ and pulled the towel off her.
She was totally naked and I said, ‘William, that was stupid.’ William said, ‘I know Mummy likes you’, and I said, ‘William, Mummy likes a lot of people. Let’s not do that.’
He was slightly aware of her allure — he wasn’t stupid. It all happened so quickly. There was a smile on Diana’s face. Whatever she was thinking, she had to see the funny side.’
Ken Wharfe, former bodyguard, said: ‘The whole of the palace staff, from the butler to the chef to the gardener, were all part of this family that Diana thought was important for her children’s life, so they all played a part in the upbringing of her children. I think that paid off’
Ingrid Seward
Author and editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine
‘She said the boys loved Scotland but she didn’t like them being photographed with a gun in their hands.
She said, ‘Remember, there’s always someone in a high-rise flat who doesn’t want to see you shoot a Bambi.’
She said, ‘I’m not anti-shooting, I’m just not interested in it any more.’ But the boys loved it. She called them her Killer Wales.’
Simone Simmons
Healer
‘William took after his mother in playing practical jokes. He phoned me up once pretending to be Charles, asking about ‘My wife Diana’.
But he couldn’t keep it up and guffawed with laughter down the phone. He was about 13 or 14. I remember Harry saying a very poignant thing one day when he was sitting on Diana’s lap.
‘The only time I get Mummy all to myself is when I’m off sick from school.’ She didn’t have a favourite son and loved them both to the ends of the earth. She didn’t spoil them, she exposed them to the real world and they were just lovely.’
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘She had risqué exchanges with both boys at a young age, they shared her love for risqué jokes.
She would hear jokes that were borderline for infants and say to William, no you’re too young for that. Her role within Kensington Palace wasn’t kept to her drawing room and her private apartments.
The whole of the palace staff, from the butler to the chef to the gardener, were all part of this family that Diana thought was important for her children’s life, so they all played a part in the upbringing of her children. I think that paid off.’
Penny Thornton
Astrologer
‘She was great with the boys, sort of like, ‘Don’t eat that now Harry, be quiet’, just like any mother. ‘Did you wash your hands?’ It was just completely as you would expect, they were such easy children. They were a little bit shy of me.
There was stranger danger, but with her there was no sense that they should not say something, or they shouldn’t stop running around or doing anything. They were just children, happy children.’
Diana and the boys with Princess Margaret at Trooping the Colour in 1989. Janet Filderman beautician, said: ‘I see a lot of Diana in William, and not only in looks. He has the Spencer head, the ability to mix with people in all walks of life’
Darren McGrady
Personal chef
‘Harry is so like his mother. She was so, ‘This is what I’m going to do because it’s the right thing —what do you mean it isn’t the official way — not protocol?’
‘Harry is the same with Meghan, whereas William would be more, ‘What can we do here?’ and the advisers, or grey suits as Diana used to call them, would have advised him. But Harry is like his mum, instant reaction through emotion.
The boys are different like that. She always used to say, ‘William is deep like his dad and stubborn, and Harry is a hothead like me; he does the first thing that comes into his head. They will look after the heir and I will look after the spare.’ She connected with Harry more.’
Michael Cole
Former BBC royal correspondent, former director of Harrods
‘King Juan Carlos of Spain insisted on allowing a photo opportunity midway through the Waleses’ stay in 1986. Both royal families gathered on the steps of the royal villa as more than 20 photographers jostled for the best positions.
‘Prince Harry, one month short of his third birthday, gathered up two fistfuls of shingle from the drive, toddled towards the cameramen and threw the shingle at them with all his might. ‘Go away, mens,’ he cried, ‘Go away, mens!’ A portent, if ever there was one.’
She’d have spoiled her grandchildren rotten
Dickie Arbiter
Former press secretary to Charles and Diana
‘I think she would have taken a great hand in the marriages of her sons. She would have loved being a grandmother and particularly would have doted on Charlotte because she always wanted a daughter and that wasn’t to be.
‘She was great with children and would have been an absolutely brilliant grandmother. She would have been there all the time, she would have spoiled them rotten.
‘She would have really latched on to Charlotte — George might have been the apple of her eye, but Charlotte would have been a bunch of apples. She would have been very hands-on with the grandchildren.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge with Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis during a sneak peek of Kate’s stunning garden at the Royal Horticultural Society’s Chelsea Flower Show
‘When the Duchess of Cambridge was interviewed about her garden for the Chelsea Flower Show recently, there were certain things she said and the way she said them that sounded just like Diana. For me, it was quite spooky. Diana was all for having a great time outdoors and that’s what Kate was saying.’
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
Princess Charlotte swinging on a rope swing during a family visit to The Duchess of Cambridge ‘Back to Nature’ Garden co-designed with Adam White and Andree Davies
‘If you look back at Diana’s short life, she was primed to look after children. She was very hands-on with her friends’ children, Rosa Monckton’s particularly. It was something she was very good at. She would have been a doting grandmother like her own mother was.
‘Frances was affectionately nicknamed Supergran because she was a very lively person who you wanted to be with. Both adults and children found her entertaining. She would take the lead when we went to Scotland, organising what we were going to do.
Frances used to say, “Come on you two, we’re going to do something you’ve probably never done before.”
Then she’d take them down to the oyster beds near where she lived. She’d get them with their buckets and spades and off they would go into the water to pick up oysters.
‘They’d go and look at the sheep and identify trees and the beauty of the countryside. As a grandmother, the boys loved her, no question about it. She was physical, and so was Diana.
‘I don’t think Diana would have been any different as a grandmother. She’d have been reliving William’s and Harry’s childhoods through the grandchildren.
‘She was a family-oriented person. Diana always wanted a daughter so she would have loved having a granddaughter. She would have gloried in the fact that her sons had healthy children and she would be able to enjoy them without any restraints.’
Ingrid Seward
Author and editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine
‘I think she would have been a fantastic grandmother. The Goddess Grandmother, definitely. I think she would have been a little bit wary of Kate’s mother though, she would’ve sized her up straight away.
‘And then I think she would have been very fond of Kate, because Kate does everything right and looks gorgeous. And I think she would have recognised how good Kate is for William, because William is emotional and difficult.’
Ingrid Seward, author and editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine, said of Diana: ‘I think she would have been a fantastic grandmother. The Goddess Grandmother, definitely’ The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are pictured with baby Archie
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘On William’s first day at school, there were the other mothers assembled, dressed in their finery, determined to jettison their kid across the floor to be the first to meet him.
Eventually one kid was slid across the floor and peeped up at William under his new cap and said, ‘Excuse me, is it true that you know the Queen?’ and William sort of looked at him very wryly and said, ‘Don’t be stupid. Don’t you mean Granny?’
‘It was a completely unrehearsed line and immediately softened the officialdom of the day and everyone started laughing. Diana thought it was immensely funny. He probably inherited his sense of humour from his mother.’
Sarah Bradford
Also known as Viscountess Bangor, royal biographer
‘Diana was great at taking the formality out of the children’s lives — she loved sending them down to her good friend Lady Annabel Goldsmith’s so they could race around in a proper household because William used to feel like a ‘caged lion’ at Kensington Palace.
‘When playdates were organised there were no fancy teas or cut sandwiches, and when Diana was on her own with the children they would sit together in front of the television with a plate of beans on toast, which I think is really endearing.’
Janet Filderman
Beautician
‘I see a lot of Diana in William, and not only in looks. He has the Spencer head, the ability to mix with people in all walks of life.
‘Diana said to me that she was bringing up her boys to be like that, which I think is lovely and she would be delighted with what is happening now; after all, she laid the ground for it.’
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘Diana didn’t treat William and Harry differently although William was going to be king. They shared her attention. They were different, with the two years’ age difference being quite noticeable when they were young.
‘They were good friends and have remained so. Harry was quite shrewd. He was destined to go in the Army. I would say that were he not royal, today he would be quite a senior officer in the Army. He was forever dressed in khaki uniform.
‘Our journeys to Highgrove were always interesting because very often it was just Diana and myself and the two kids in the back with a nanny and policeman in the car behind, and on the journey so many things were talked about.
‘I remember one time when Harry had been a bit of a pest and he and William were having a scrap in the back of the car. Diana was driving and she said, ‘Oh I do wish you two would shut up.’
William said, ‘I agree with you Mummy, Harry should shut up.’ Then Harry said, ‘I’m not shutting up, but anyway you’ll be king one day and I won’t so therefore I can do what I want.’
There was suddenly this silence in the car and Diana looked at me and whispered, ‘Where did he get that from?’ Harry was only about five.’
Dr James Colthurst
Diana’s close confidant and old friend
‘The boys were often doing something wild around Kensington Palace. I remember William bursting into the drawing room once, rapidly followed by Harry who was weighed down by about eight police radios.
Goodness knows what would have happened had there been a real police problem. His left shoulder would’ve been giving orders to his right hip!’
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘William came in to me once and said, ‘Ken, Mummy wants to go ‘ite’ at 9.30 and we want to leave the ‘hise’.’ I said, ‘OK William, but what’s this ‘ite’ business and ‘hise’?
We don’t go ‘ite’ we go ‘out’ and come back to the ‘house’ not the ‘hice’.’ He said, ‘It’s what Papa says.’ I told him I wasn’t bothered what Papa said.
‘Two weeks later I was in the kitchen and the prince came in. We all stood up and he said to me, ‘Oh, I gather you’ve been giving William some elocution lessons?’
I said, ‘I think you’re referring, Sir, to when he said to me he wanted to go ‘ite’ of the ‘hise’ and I was just suggesting the pronunciation was ‘out’ and ‘house’. It wasn’t a lesson, merely an observation.’
‘He tugged at the cuffs of his shirt underneath his lemon cashmere sweater that I remember so well, grimaced at me and delivered this classic phrase, ‘Oh really?’ Thereafter it was obvious to me that was a phrase he would use, and depending on the inflection it meant a thousand things.
‘Diana and he would be chatting away to the stars and Charles would look like he was thinking, ‘Oh God, another film premiere.’ Someone would say, ‘This is Sean Connery’ or whoever and he’d say, ‘Oh really?’ It made me laugh. He was slightly annoyed that I was correcting his son but at the same time he was able to turn a humorous eye to it.’
Jan Cisek
Feng shui expert
‘Diana wanted the children’s bedrooms harmonised — or what I call ‘hormonised’ — so I positioned their beds in the power position so the door was diagonally opposite.
I told her to display awards, certificates and trophies in the boys’ rooms to build their self-esteem. This raises dopamine levels, the hormone that improves memory and motivation.’
Mark Stewart
Royal photographer
‘I remember we were coming back on a plane from Zimbabwe in 1993, and Diana came down from first class to join us standing around in the galley. She flicked through all the papers and found a picture of Harry, and she was really, really pleased to see that he was happy.
‘I don’t think she could sleep very well, so she stayed for about an hour. She just sat on the jump seats and chatted about how the tour had gone and about life, and you could tell her boys were her pride and joy.
Diana knew us all and was very friendly towards us. She also liked a bit of gossip and had a very mischievous way about her, and she had a great laugh.’
Darren McGrady
Personal chef
‘One weekend I took my girlfriend Wendy, who has blonde hair, to Harrods for lunch and parked at Kensington Palace. As I was walking back, the princess’s green Audi approached and I said to Wendy, ‘This is the boss.’
She pulled up alongside us and wound the window down. The princess was driving,
‘Harry and William were in the back. Harry said, ‘Wow! Who’s the blonde?’ I vowed if we ever had a son we would call him Harry — we do and he’s 15 now! Harry was a rascal even then!’
Patrick Jephson
Former private secretary
‘Some element of William and Harry’s success is going to be Diana’s success too. I’m very glad to see that they are talking more about her. There was a period when she was not mentioned at all and it’s very much to be welcomed that she is acknowledged not just as their mother, but also her contribution to the Royal Family.’
Carolan Brown
Personal trainer
‘Harry was the one I saw most. He would be crawling on the floor with a toy gun, wearing his army suit, trying to snipe at us while we were doing our workout and giggling behind the door.’
Ken Wharfe
Former bodyguard
‘Charles had an extraordinary sense of humour too and acknowledged the role I played in the protection of his children.
I think he found it difficult seeing men of his own age, certainly myself, playing a role that perhaps he thought should be his, really.
He was very honest about it and I don’t think he blamed anyone else for that, except perhaps himself. He was generally appreciative.’
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