Lisa Vanderpump is still coping with the sudden loss of her brother, Mark.

On Monday night’s Vanderpump Rules reunion, the restauranteur broke down in tears as she discussed grieving her only sibling.

“I held it together while we were filming. Personally, it was really difficult. I’m really sorry for it because I don’t want it to bring you all down,” she told the rest of the cast. “I struggled through it, but then I thought, the best way for me to get through it is to get help. So I went to a grief counselor and then I asked for anti-depressants. I’ve never taken pills in my life. Two Advil is a big deal for me. I’m always kind of British, stiff upper lip, but I guess I have feelings, too. And I didn’t do well this year, at all. At all.”

Overcome with emotion, she left the set.

“Give me five minutes, I’ll come back,” she told host Andy Cohen.

Mark Vanderpump, a DJ, was found unresponsive at his home in Gloucestershire, England, on April 30, 2018. He was transported to the hospital but died in the early hours of May 1 at the age of 59. Drug toxicity was determined the cause of Mark’s death, which the coroner classified as a suicide.

Lisa, 58, has been open about how the tragedy affected her own life and relationships, especially with her The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills costars, whom she is no longer speaking to over the “PuppyGate” scandal.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “home” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Vanderpump Rules airs Mondays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.

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