DEAR island snowflakes — don’t whine just because we dare to quote your title song Football’s Coming Home when we return to Wembley Stadium — aka “unser Wohnzimmer” (our living room).

It was you, who chose this song for Euro ’96, that we won. So, get over it! Please believe me — we’re not really being serious here. Well, almost not.

But seriously — our team is coming home. Wembley is a place full of beautiful, good ­German history.

A bitter moment with the stolen victory in 1966 — almost every German knows the “Wembley-Goal”. And many sweet victories, like in 1972 or 1996.

We cherish this sacred space with respect and secret glee. Wembley is part of our collective German football heritage.

With us it’s always the same story — we just love to tease each other. Just a tiny bit. We Germans call this “love-hate”. A little bit of both.

We tell each other these stories, lounging on the sunbeds we took from you early in the morning on Majorca or the Costa del Sol.

And we attest to the fact that we cannot find a decent meal in Portugal or Andalusia, because all menus everywhere are occupied with your “food”.

You are in our thoughts, when we need to binge drink as of 18:00 with warm, foamless beer in your (great) pubs, because of early closing hours, instead of enjoying our sacred Pils and Helles.

While not only watching our own football league, but your league (with our own coaches and players).

Every year there is a feeling of amazement when I look at English people in an Andalusian trailer park eating fish and chips in 35 degree or more heat. Then there’s the beachside search game — “find a Brit without tattoos”.

As much as we feud with each other on vacation, we are united in the fact we are great football nations and that others are mystified by our rivalry.

Your delegates burned bright red — and ours in socks and sandals. And our kids: one part drunk in Magaluf, the others at the “Ballermann” in Majorca.

We look upon England, that for us always seems to waver between stiff upper lip and drunkenly uninhibited, with respect.

Here’s hoping for tonight because if nothing major changes we will show up basically without a defence.

This was obvious during both games against Hungary and Portugal. We had to force Portugal to shoot two own goals so we could have half a chance. We almost failed against Hungary due to harmlessness.

But we do know we Germans stumble through preliminary and middle rounds and at the end we are victorious . . . at least against England.

So, no worries. We would love to celebrate our victory at Wembley, but — too bad our fans can’t be there. We’ll see you next time — at Wembley or anywhere else.

You have the better football songs. We have more football titles. So, don’t be sad when we Germans sing “Football’s coming home” tonight. And just in case you do manage to grab the title, just sing our song: “So ein Tag, so wunderschön wie heute . . . ”*

*Such a day, as beautiful as today . . .

Source: Read Full Article