I have always been one to preach the evil of capitalism and Valentine’s Day from on high, advocating for more of a *do tiny things every day for your person* versus *ball out for a single, arbitrary date and pay way too much for chicken parmesan.*

But now, in my infinite wisdom, I’m like—why not both?

Because life is not a romantic movie, this we know. No one with a chiseled jawline or cushy PR job is going to show up and save you from yourself. No one can do that.

We can put gas in our person’s car before a big presentation at work or school. We can fix their coffee in the morning, leave them a note on their windshield, or text them pictures of baby animals until they demand that you stop.

It takes bravery to do that. This February, I want to be less cynical of chalky heart candy and cupid’s arrows and overly-sweet chocolate. I want to prove everyone wrong—that we can celebrate both ordinary AND big moments, simultaneously. That everything doesn’t have to be black and white, simple or complicated.

For me, love is talking down hysterical 7-year-old students from ending it all when their drawings of pumpkin pie do not turn out as planned. It’s slow Sunday mornings on my couch, a book in my lap, coffee rings on my beat-to-shit table, and the usual existential dread that comes with being alive and still having an animal brain and two semi-useless degrees. It’s my half-blind dog splayed out across my lap, making typing near-to-impossible.

But it’s also dancing in dark kitchens for an audience of roaches, and ceremonies where all my best friends cry. It’s engagements and new babies and when you put it all together, it almost looks like a movie, doesn’t it?

Aries

Skew your thinking towards optimism and hope. Practice this skill with the fervor you would put into a new workout or diet—it will serve you in the coming months. All forward motion this month will be just that—momentum to push you closer to what you need and want. When in doubt, take a deep breath and wait. Seriously. Now is not the time to tug at loose threads, pick fights, or tip your mental and physical balance too far in any one direction.

Taurus

Do not avoid your grief this month, dear Taurus. With all beginnings come endings; such is the cycle of life. Lean into your grief and feelings. Talking about your grief, doing things that honor your experiences, are all cathartic exercises that will help you, over time, feel better. Remember that feelings do not have a timeline. They ebb and flow. We can experience grief and strong emotions many times over a person or experience that was meaningful to us. Grief is an expression of deep, pure love. How beautiful.

Gemini

It’s time to put your needs first, your wants second, and get rid of everything else. Period. Everything else is just obstacles that take you further from the life you’ve imagined for yourself. It may be hard to get rid of things that don’t fall into one of the two necessary focuses—but it is only then that you will have the space and clarity to do whatever needs to be done. Take a deep breath, and begin.

Cancer

In addition to the last full moon being in your sign and its magnification of your typical characteristics, you may also find friendship is one of your bigger focuses this February. As a sign that typically places family and romantic partners above all, this is a good chance to deepen your existing relationships and find validation, love, and acceptance with those whom you are not blood-related or sleeping with ;).

Leo

This is the perfect time to look at your attachment style in your relationships, Leo. While your sign is well-known for its extroverted and generous nature, those wonderful traits can sometimes conceal the heavy shit—like your mental health, or how you process and deal with your emotions. Do you tend to over or under share? Who do you talk to (and how) when you need support? Love is a choice—so make sure yours are serving you.

Virgo

We all have an image of what we’d like our life to be—that one, perfect snapshot that floats in space that to us, means success. For me, this is a book-ladder and a clawfoot bathtub. For you, it’s probably something else. But our success is not measured in a single, perfect moment, picture, or memory. It’s in the slow cultivation of finding and nurturing the things that make you feel deeply yourself and deeply seen. This month, find those things and throw out the freeze-frame. Allow movement, change. Make a mess.

Libra

Intense emotions are natch, but especially this month, Libra. My advice is to lean into your art or craft, and counter all of your frustration with creating shit. It does not have to be good. All it has to do is exist. Instead of mentally spiraling over your love life or problems at work—write a poem or make your father a hand-made card. Design matching outfits for you and your cat, idc. Just do whatever gets your milkshake frothed.

Scorpio

You need to go to the doctor. I’m saying that because most of us need to go to the doctor (but can’t lol because the US healthcare system is its own planet of hell) because when is the best time to take care of your health? Say it with me, Scorpio—before there’s a serious issue. I know there’s a lot of contention around western medicine, but maintaining regular doctor checkups and bloodwork is crucial to long term health and wellness. So is going to the dentist, and mental health care if you need it. Ask for resources if you are unable to afford or manage your health. This is your first and only priority.

Sagittarius

Mindfulness and goal-planning by definition always strike me as mutually exclusive—how are you supposed to plan for the future when you’re anchored to the present?—but really, one leads to the other. Clear, defined focus is something you want and need, Sagittarius. It’s this focus from mindfulness that will illuminate your path and bring you more joy on the daily. Be here right now, for it will define your next right now.

Capricorn

This February may have you feeling a little vulnerable, a little scared, or unsure of yourself. This feeling, like all other feelings—is temporary. Trust in your process, and what YOU need. Is it uninterrupted sleep? High quality tea? Long walks with your dog? Planning world domination with friends? Find your own brand of self-care and lean into it this month. You’ll deal with things when you’re ready, and not a moment sooner.

Aquarius

It’s time to get back to yourself and the things you love, Aquarius. One of the best ways to do that? Block out all the extra noise created by social media and capitalism! A digital detox would do you well this February, and help you hone in on the things that bring you real happiness instead of barely recognizable hits of serotonin. Give it a few days of leaving your phone and computer alone, and see how you feel.

Pisces

One of my constant refrains is how interesting (read: lame!) it is that doing the things that make us happy and healthy is HARD. Exercising after a long day? Putting down the phone and reading something? MEDITATING??!!??! Personally, I need all of these things just to hide my scales and blend in with people. But that doesn’t make it any easier. Self-care, really, is a full time job in addition to our other obligations. But Pisces—you need to do these hard things. You need to exercise and connect with others, and find whatever activities—however hard to get started—keep you from burnout. You can do it.

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