What I know about women: Singer Gregory Porter says mum was the glue keeping us together

• Gregory Porter, 48, who lives in California, is an award-winning jazz singer 
• Reflecting on his mother’s sacrifices, he says her life was about being loving 
• He said she was trying to give another family money on her very last day

Gregory Porter, 48, is a Grammy award-winning jazz singer and the artistic curator of Cheltenham Jazz Festival. He lives in California with his wife Victoria and son Demyan. 

I am a mother’s boy. Momma, or Miss Ruth as people called her, was a preacher and had a deep concern for children, the elderly and the afflicted. She passed away more than 20 years ago, but people whose lives she touched still come up to me, and that blows me away.

Momma died of breast cancer when I was 21 and, on her very last day, I remember her telling my sister to get her purse. She was trying to give another family money so they could cover their rent. Us kids were in the hospital room and we said: ‘Will you think of yourself for just a moment.’

Gregory Porter, 48, (pictured) who lives in California, reflected on how his mother impacted his life and the lives of others

At the time, we were upset: she’s taking her last breath and here she is reaching for her purse. Then, after she passed away, I thought: ‘I’m so glad we didn’t stop her because being loving and giving was her life.’

The sacrifices she made were often sacrifices the whole family made. She would give away my clothes — I was often quite devastated because she used to take my favourite sports jerseys. But my mother was quick: she would go in your room, grab things and give them away. You could never get too close to something. That’s precious to me now.

I remember her spending hours making a Thanksgiving meal and then taking it to the homeless first — we ate the leftovers. She made mashed potato, gravy, greens, cornbread and it all went into the truck and down to the local soup kitchen.

I watched her and wanted to be like her in many ways, and I am still trying to be like her. I put my mother’s kindness and grace into my music.

My father was not on the scene and it was my strong mother who was the glue that kept us all together, and her greatest dream and desire was for us siblings to help and love each other.

After I found success, I wanted to do that motherly thing of bringing my family back together, so here I am. I have an enormous dining table and on special occasions I do a massive meal for more than 100 people.

We squeeze round the table and spill out into other rooms, bumping up against each other saying: ‘This is in honour of her.’

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