A mum claims her 14-year-old son received a death threat in a petty row over a haircut in the days before he was found dead in a field.
Jamie Marshall died in the Crosland Moor area of Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, in September last year.
His mum Anne has now spoken for the first time – claiming Jamie's death followed a row over his haircut and its similarity to another pupil's.
She has now launched a blog to connect with other grieving parents and is warning people about the effects of sending threatening messages over social media – which she believes is the reason Jamie took his own life.
Anne, 36, said: "Jamie didn't have mental health problems. This was because of one haircut he had similar to another kid."
She said Jamie, a pupil at Newsome High School, was not bullied but received a threat to his life and the lives of his family that scared him "to death".
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Anne said: "He was really scared of this kid and you can't think: 'Oh I can send this to this kid because he's tough he can take it'. You don't know how people might react.
"Without what was said in that message Jamie wouldn't have done what he did.
"If nothing comes of this criminal-wise I'd be looking to change the law to say you can't just go around saying what you want."
Anne also thinks there is a lack of support for parents in Huddersfield struggling with the loss of a child.
Most of the charities she has contacted are either overloaded or do not cover Huddersfield and the Mind meeting she attends is only a general mental health support group.
Anne, who suffers from Crohn's disease, lupus, and arthritis- plus some other effects of a broken immune system, said: "There are things that I feel and think and I'm going through that I couldn't tell my family and friends because they would be horrified.
"It's a completely different kind of grief than for an older person who died of an illness or something."
Without the support she needed Anne started having suicidal thoughts herself and is now being helped by the Mind crisis team.
Anne said: "It all became too much. I was reaching out [to charities] for help because I needed it then.
"I knew that I needed help. I couldn't cope and I knew I didn't have a coping method."
In her blog, Forever A Mum Of Two, Anne wrote candidly about the moment she discovered her son was dead.
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Recalling that fateful day, Anne wrote: "I got upstairs grabbed whatever was on the floor from the day before, my phone charger and a handful of my meds.
"I got downstairs in minutes, both officers were stood in the living room they turned to look at me when I got to the door… we are sorry but Jamie has died.
"I couldn’t understand what they were saying, it was like they were speaking in a different language.
"What was I meant to do, what was I meant to say? You see it in films and there’s instant tears and emotional words but there was nothing, I don’t even think I was breathing.
"I had to get out of the house, I needed air, I needed to get away from them.
Then my phone rang, it was my dad. I answered, his cheery voice said: ‘Hey up s**t hot!’ I had saved myself in his phone some time ago so it was always how he answered.
"I started heaving, he could hear I wasn’t right: ‘What’s going on?’
"I couldn’t speak, I didn’t want to say those words, I didn’t want it to be real and saying it, telling my dad, that would make it real.
"But I did, because I had to as he had asked over and over what was going on … between heaving I managed to get out the words.
"I told him I was going to be taken to the hospital by the police and could he meet me there."
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With Jamie's traumatised seven-year-old brother, William, to look after, Anne tries to keep the mood in the house as light as possible whenever she can.
As a result the blog has become a vital outlet for her grief. She hopes it will help her find other parents who are going through something similar so they can help and support each other.
Anne said: "I have made connections with a lady in Kent who lost her son in a car crash and has been thinking some of the same things.
"Somebody had lost a child a few years ago and wished there was somebody they could talk to like this.
"In telling my story you do find there's massive kindness in people."
"It was like an out of body experience."
She also recalled some of the incomprehensible decisions she faced in the days after Jamie's death.
Anne wrote on her blog: "And then came the question that knocked me off my feet as I never in my life thought I would be asked or have to answer it … I could have his body back earlier if I wanted to see him earlier, or if I wanted the funeral to be organised earlier … but his brain wouldn’t be put back.
"I felt like I had stopped breathing. Would you like him back with his brain replaced first?
"Vicky was the most wonderful, gentle, kind lady and I have no idea how I would be able to sit in front of a mother and ask her that question, but she did, and she didn’t make me feel any worse than just the question did.
"I answered almost immediately, I want his brain putting back in first please. I don’t know how I said the words, I don’t know how I wasn’t sick on the papers in my hand I had to sign to agree to these things. It was like an out of body experience."
An inquest into Jamie's death was opened in October and adjourned to a later date.
You are never alone. If you need to speak to someone, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123 or by emailing [email protected]
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