Should you dump someone over their politics? As Killing Eve’s Jodie Comer is slammed for dating a Republican, two writers have their say…

• Jodie Comer has been blasted for dating James Burke, who is a Republican 
• Tanya Gold said it’s narcissistic to not love someone because of political views 
• Flora Gill argues having different political views will impact your lives together

Tanya Gold (pictured) argues the idea of being unable to love someone who doesn’t share your views is the height of narcissism 

NO 

by Tanya Gold

Twitter has learned that actress Jodie Comer is dating a Republican who is presumed to be a Donald Trump supporter: a man named James Burke.

She must, the cancel club has decided, ditch him for someone who shares her Leftist politics. If she won’t, the hashtag #jodiecomer isoverparty may trend for ever.

But the idea that you cannot love, or sleep with, someone who does not share your politics is the height of narcissism. Do you want to look at your love and see only a mirror image of yourself? Where is the excitement — or the jeopardy — in that? Isn’t that self-love, rather than love?

It is fashionable, on the madder reaches of the Left, to hate your political opponent, and to refuse to engage with them: to ‘no-platform’ them. This is not only bad politics, as the last election showed — who would have guessed that people prefer persuasion to being screamed at? — it also reduces those in your life to a collection of people who share your views.

If you allow yourself to be so limited, you won’t change as you age, and you will lose the ability to be surprised. You will end up being the sort of person who shouts at bus stops. I am a social democratic Jew and eight years ago I married a Christian Tory. I think we were both baffled, but love will out.

I shout at him when election time comes, of course, and I think the Resurrection probably didn’t happen, but I feel that I have no right to change his views, which are, to be fair, wettish Tory. I wouldn’t want to. If he changed himself for me, and became a person in my image, would there be anything left of him to love?

I find his country Toryism seductive, with its promise of Agas and wet dogs and transgressive kisses in front of Newsnight.

It does rather limit your sexual opportunities if you are only prepared to jump into bed with people who want to talk about how great Rebecca Long-Bailey is.

My suspicion is that young far-Leftists date their mirrors because they are too cowed to date opponents, then dash off to watch porn alone.

Wouldn’t they rather shout at Russia’s Vladimir Putin, Turkey’s Recep Tayyip Erdogan or Brazil’s Jair Bolsonaro, or any other tin-pot tyrant thriving across the globe while the Left polices attraction?

This invasion of people’s private lives is outrageous. I hope Jodie ignores her critics. Social media won’t keep you warm at night.

Flora Gill (pictured) said political views are a reflection of your principles and morals 

YES 

by Flora Gill

Writing someone off for a political view is often seen as intolerant or close-minded.

But, to paraphrase the old adage, ‘politics is personal’ — the political beliefs you have reflect your deepest values. I may accept certain opinions when they’re debated over dinners or even discussed with friends, but when it comes to the person I’m seeing, I’m not embarrassed to say my bed can be partisan.

A few years back, I went on a date with a boy I’d met at a friend’s party. He had a kind, wonky smile and wore scarves no matter the weather.

But despite the date progressing well, he shared political views I saw as being rooted in sexism (maternity rights and abortion legislation both came up). I walked out of the bar, deciding not to go on to dinner.

Why? Because your political views are not the same as hating Game Of Thrones or making your tea with the milk first. They reflect your principles and morals.

Let’s face it, a man who doesn’t value maternity rights at work is unlikely to treat his wife’s career with the same importance as his own.

And it’s not just about views that will personally affect your lives together. If a man went up to my best friend and her girlfriend and told them their love wasn’t real or equal to that of his straight friends, I would dump him immediately. So why would I be willing to date anyone who said they were against gay marriage?

These may seem like extreme examples, but they were hot topics of political debate just a few years ago.

If you can see why these would be deal-breakers, then there’s no reason the issues we feel just as strongly about today shouldn’t create the same moral lines. Views on Black Lives Matter, immigration, trans rights and even the dreaded Brexit are all reason enough to break up with someone.

It’s not a matter of ‘Can I overlook this?’ — it will make them less attractive to you.

Of course, who Jodie Comer dates is not up to her fans, but if his views are truly the polar opposite to her own, they’re likely to cause more issues than just a trending hashtag.

Because when it comes to your bed and your life, you’re allowed to be picky and draw red lines. This isn’t a BBC panel show or school debate club. You don’t need to give equal time to different opinions.

If you feel so strongly about a political view that you see it as sitting on moral lines, you should break up with someone who doesn’t agree. If you fundamentally believe their opinions are wrong, you’ll never be able to see them as Mr/Mrs Right.

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