JAN MOIR: If Price was really full of remorse, she’d be begging to be locked up
Katie Price says she is remorseful about her drink-driving offence, but if that were true, surely she would be begging the authorities to lock her up?
Surely she would be admitting to anyone who would listen that she is a danger to the public; someone who cannot be trusted to behave responsibly despite police bans and cautions.
‘I need to be punished, put behind bars, please make an example of me,’ the truly Contrite Katie would cry, with a hand on her fluttering, righteous heart.
But don’t hold your breath.
The former glamour model crashed her car in September while under the influence of drink and drugs.
She was also driving while disqualified for the fifth time and — to sprinkle the croutons of disgrace on the soup of shame — she was not insured.
Katie Price says she is remorseful about her drink-driving offence, but if that were true, surely she would be begging the authorities to lock her up?
If that doesn’t scream serial offender with no sense of civic accountability, then what does?
Yet the judge in the Sussex court let Price off with a suspended sentence because the mother of five had booked herself into rehab — into the Priory no less, that Escape From Alcatraz for celebrities.
In addition, in a bid for sympathy, the shameless star has jumped on the mental health bandwagon.
‘Mental health is a hidden illness that can strike at any time,’ she piously wrote on social media.
Yes, it sure can. It can strike any old head-banger who goes on an all-night bender, then decides at 6am to drive off, fuelled by cocaine, to — it was claimed — buy more cocaine. For that is exactly What Katie Did in this unedifying adventure.
Now the 43-year-old fake tan devotee informs us that she did all this not because she was stupid and irresponsible, but because she has issues, the poor love. Quick, pass me the onion of empathy so I can wave it under my bone-dry eyes in a bid to look even a tiny bit compassionate.
For, increasingly, I find myself disgusted by those celebrities who use the carapace of mental health as a get-out-of-jail-free card to excuse their own bad behaviour or elicit undeserved sympathy.
The former glamour model crashed her car in September while under the influence of drink and drugs
Not only is it a cynical insult to those who really do struggle mentally every day, it also puts obstacles in the way of their getting the medical help they need.
The cynicism of stars such as Price is not just reprehensible, it is harmful to the vulnerable. And it doesn’t fool anyone.
Some years ago I interviewed Katie Price and she was about as mentally fragile as a freight train.
What was she plugging? I can’t even remember, for over time she has launched a blizzard of total tat on her fans; hairdryers, posters, mouse mats, pink plastic hair straighteners, pony bridles, tell-all books, fitness DVDs, calendars, bikinis, perfume, the lot.
It was always, always all about the money with the Pricey. ‘It’s not like I’m getting any money for talking to you,’ she huffed, simmering away like an angry carrot, her orange forehead wrinkling with resentment as she snubbed the mildest inquiry.
Afterwards, so scalded by the dreadfulness of the experience, I vowed never to write about her again. Not if I could help it!
This was my own battle against her utter ghastliness, grasping avarice and the unremitting rudeness she displays in real life.
The cynicism of stars such as Price is not just reprehensible, it is harmful to the vulnerable. And it doesn’t fool anyone
Hailed as a feminist by some, it seems clear that the only woman she cares about is herself.
Katie would do anything for an extra buck, from monetising her family and her dim cavalcade of increasingly useless husbands, to exploiting her long suffering fan base — once even trying to sell a pair of her pre-loved silicone breast implants on eBay.
Oh, but she is so good with Harvey, cry her supporters. Yes, the care she lavishes on her handicapped son is notable, as witnessed in the recent BBC1 documentary Harvey And Me.
Yet her life seems to have descended into a kind of domestic bedlam; with various father figures shuffling in and out of her family orbit while there have been recent catastrophic financial problems which seem to be entirely of her own doing. In court this week her lawyer pleaded that her life had spiralled into debt and chaos, seemingly suggesting none of it was her own fault because she is not good at paperwork; one unpaid £7.50 road toll has escalated into a £1,400 fine.
Yet Katie always seems organised enough to make and keep her grooming appointments — the myriad manicures, tans, hair extensions and eyebrow shaping upkeep that are all part of her brand.
‘This is a lady with a lot of things going on,’ said her defence lawyer. But what mother of young children is not?
And what other member of the public would escape a custodial sentence in such circumstances? Serially reckless motorist Katie Price has proved over and over that she is a menace on the roads, someone who could easily destroy the lives of others as she seems to be hell-bent on destroying her own.
It seems ridiculous that a court would put her personal well-being before the safekeeping of the general public. No wonder Sussex Police are considering appealing her lenient suspended sentence.
After all, what kind of message does it send out? Especially at a time of year when police chiefs ramp up nationwide drink-driving campaigns and make promises that anyone getting behind the wheel after a festive drink or two faces the prospect of ending up behind bars.
Only not if you are Katie Price. Not if you check into the Priory. And not if you are ‘bad at paperwork’. I could say more, but I don’t want to upset her mental health.
In Los Angeles I went to the fabulous new Academy Museum of Motion Pictures. They’ve got everything from the Citizen Kane Rosebud sled to ET. In the Oscar Experience, you walk onto a stage as the audience cheers and you are handed a real Oscar. To my astonishment, it was overwhelming. ‘And the Oscar goes to Jan Moir,’ boomed the voiceover, as I choked back tears. Gwyneth, I regret tittering as you blubbed your way through your Best Actress speech in 1999. Now I get it!
A prince among veggies
SPROUTS ONE: For one brief, glorious moment, a Brussels sprout pop-up restaurant flamed brightly in London, but now its gas is at a peep.
On the menu? Brussels arancini; shredded Brussels tabbouleh with pomegranate seeds; Brussels sprout risotto with lemon, chilli and hazelnuts, all washed down with Brussels sprout-infused Bellinis.
Meanwhile, entertainers dressed as Brussels sprouts serenaded guests with appropriate songs. ‘You were the wind beneath my wings,’ they sang, before launching into the Bob Seger classic, Against The Wind.
SPROUTS TWO: ’Tis the season of the sprout, which is celebrated in America in ways unheard of here. In posh restaurants, such as Buvette in New York, they are called ‘Choux de Bruxelles’ and come shaved and served with pecorino cheese and walnuts.
At Bicyclette in Los Angeles, they appear in a bowl with frisee, lardons and a soft-boiled egg, which the waiter mixes tableside as if he were anointing the heads of prized green babies, which in a way he is. Delicious! Over there, Brussels sprouts are treated like royalty and described as earth-crafted, heritage and even glazed. Here that’s how we describe some of our royals, which is something else altogether.
The short life and death of Star Hobson and other misbegotten children like her haunts us all.
I can’t stop thinking about Star’s desperate relatives, trying to get help. They knew something was wrong and tried to get social services to intervene, only to face obstruction and dismissal at every step. Star’s great-grandfather was reduced to posting photographs of her unexplained bruises on Facebook — his way of screaming from the rooftops that something was wrong.
In a BBC interview, he said he used to go to work crying, adding that ‘I will never, ever get over this.’
Why did social workers believe these relatives were biased because Star’s mother was in a gay relationship? There was no evidence of this.
One has to wonder why social workers won’t listen to relatives who clearly only have the best interests of the child at heart.
What possible bad motive could a grandparent or great-grandparent have?
In the dark shadows of family life, they monstered the innocent and ignored the real monsters.
When it all goes wrong, just blame it on Jennifer
Ben Affleck has been accused of blaming his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, for his alcohol abuse.
‘It is part of why I started drinking,’ he said during an appearance on a radio show this week. ‘Because I was trapped.’
Perhaps that was why he had an affair with their children’s nanny.Perhaps that was Jennifer’s fault, too. Wives, eh?
Brad Pitt said something similar about his doomed marriage to Jennifer Aniston. ‘It became very clear to me that I wasn’t living an interesting life myself,’ Pitt said in 2011. ‘I think my marriage had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.’
Don’t these men bear any of the blame for their failed marriages? Or is it the case that if you’re called Jennifer, then it is your fault?
Don’t these men bear any of the blame for their failed marriages? Or is it the case that if you’re called Jennifer, then it is your fault?
All I want for Christmas is. . . not you lot
Is Mariah Carey really giving up touring for good?
The diva told Rolling Stone magazine this week that: ‘I’m so not going on tour ever again in my life. I miss my fans and being with them, and that’s the only thing that’s great. But with Covid . . . it’s a little bit weird, right?’
Instead, she wants to create music in filmed studio events where fans can watch her ‘talk to the guitar player, talk to the bass player and tell them, like, “Here are the notes I want to hear, blah blah blah”.’
Why didn’t Joni Mitchell or even Mozart think of that?
Is Mariah Carey really giving up touring for good?
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