DEAR DEIDRE I had a thrilling threesome with my boyfriend and another girl, but now I’ve fallen for her.
I care for my boyfriend a lot but the spark isn’t there — never was. Not like the spark that I get with this girl.
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I’m 26 and I’ve been with my man for three years.
He’s 28 and he knows I’m bisexual.
I was in a relationship with another woman when I met him.
I was happy to be with that girl but when my boyfriend came along there was something about him that hooked me in.
It was brilliant at first but after six months I was aching for more.
My partner suggested a threesome would help and, of course, I agreed — as long as that meant with another girl.
He’s not into men so that suited us both.
He told me to sort out a girl who would turn us both on.
I found someone who made me go weak at the knees so I did get it half right, at least. She’s 25.
The threesome was out of this world and we did it three times.
I loved the girl-on-girl sex so much I told her I wanted to meet her alone and we started to meet up in secret.
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It soon became clear that future threesomes were off, as she hates my partner and he hates her back.
I am deeply in love with this girl and know she loves me too but I have a six-month-old baby girl with my partner.
I’ve been stuck in the house just like everyone else recently and I’ve not seen my girlfriend at all since the middle of March.
I do love my partner and baby and want to do the right thing.
I cry every night, as I feel so confused and I think my girlfriend has blocked me.
I don’t know what to do.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are in a tough spot, I can see.
Being bisexual is hard but it doesn’t alter the fact that you have to take responsibility for your choices in life and the impact they have on others.
You could have swapped partners but you chose to stay and you must know how babies are made, so I’m guessing a part of you wants what you’ve got now.
Your priority now really should be the welfare of your little girl.
She deserves a stable and loving home and you need to decide how you can best provide this.
It sounds as though your girlfriend has realised it’s not going to work out between the two of you.
Best put her out of your mind while you focus on building a happy family with your partner.
If you’re already sure in your heart that won’t work, then it’s best to face up to that now.
Your daughter won’t thrive with an unhappy mum.
Find support through Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline (switchboard.lgbt, 0300 330 0630).
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