I blame myself for my girlfriend's miscarriage

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T help but blame myself for my girlfriend’s miscarriage.

She found out she was pregnant again only four months after giving birth to our lovely daughter but sadly lost the baby.

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She lost a lot of blood and I thought she was going to die.

She has been very down about it and considers herself a failure, and I have reassured her she isn’t.

If I had known the miscarriage was going to happen I would have encouraged her to have a termination.

This is what she wanted but then she changed her mind.

I am 34 and she is 32. We have been together for four years.

I should have known better than to make love to her without using contraception.

I feel guilty for putting her through all this.

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She doesn’t blame me and says she was as keen as me to get the sexual side of our relationship back to normal after the birth.

But I am in turmoil. My girlfriend and our daughter are the lights of my life.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Please don’t beat yourself up over this. Your girlfriend’s miscarriage was not your fault.

While women can still get pregnant so soon after having a baby, this in itself would not have caused the miscarriage.

Keep reassuring your girlfriend that she is not a failure, and miscarriage is very common.

You will both be able to find emotional support through miscarriageassociation.org.uk (01924 200 799).