DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months. We have a lot of similar interests and enjoy a lot of the same things.
I’ve never been so happy in a relationship.
I’m 23 and he’s 27. He told me he thinks about me every day, but when I commented on that, he quickly said: “I think about all of the people I’m close to most days.”
It was as if I’d caught him out on his feelings.
He’s had trauma in his life – his previous relationships have all gone badly, and he was cheated on.
We met up recently and the vibe between us felt different. The only time we kissed was when he said goodbye leaving my house.
He then took ages to reply to my messages.
It’s left me confused, not knowing where I stand. Do you think he’s pulling away because he’s scared of commitment?
I’ve never been lucky in love, and I am scared of getting rejected.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I think you are right when you say you caught him out on his feelings.
He has been hurt in the past and it could be that he is afraid to commit to a relationship with you.
It doesn’t sound as if you have done anything wrong, so please don’t blame yourself. The only way to find out how he feels about you and the relationship is if you ask him.
I know you are worried about being rejected, but at least you will know where you stand.
Talking to a counsellor will really help with your fear of rejection.
My support pack Finding The Right Partner For You will also help you to think this through.
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