Dating can be a lot of fun, especially when it’s casual and you’re just looking to have a good time. However, when you start looking for something more serious, or if you’re looking for "the one" to settle down with, folks who aren’t on the same level can be frustrating and make you feel like you’re wasting your time. This is why knowing someone’s intentions by recognizing the dating behaviors that mean someone’s ready for marriage can save you a lot of time, energy, and maybe even some heartbreak.

But is that something you can really tell just from how someone behaves on a date, or even before or after it? According to Susan Winter, a NYC relationship expert, love coach, and author of Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache, the answer is, surprisingly, yes. That’s because, as she explains, there are some signs that can in fact indicate that your date is likely on the same page as you and looking to settle down. The same is true of red flags that mean they aren’t. "When a person is finally ready for marriage, they approach dating far differently than those who’re treading water," Winter tells Elite Daily. So, if you are ready to find someone who you can spend your life with, these are the dating behaviors to be on the lookout for.

1. They Are Focused On Getting To Know You.

One of the clearest signs that your date is interested in something more serious, says Winter, is that they are putting in real effort to get to know you on the date. “You’ll find this date intensely listening to everything you say, and actively asking questions. They truly want to get to know you. This is part of their filtration process as they look for their perfect match,” she explains

2. They Are Dating With A Purpose.

When you’re on the date, ask yourself if it feels like they are fully present and have a purpose, says Winter, specifically one that is deeper than just getting you home for the night. “Your date isn’t looking to fill their bed for the night, but rather, looking to fill their life with a partner. There is a conscious intention to get to know you in every date, and every conversation. Your date is serious in purpose, and it’s evident,” says Winter.

3. They Are Reliable.

When you make plans with them, how confident are you that they will follow through? If there is no doubt in your mind, Winter says there is a good chance this person is taking things seriously. “If your date says they’re picking you up at 7, they’re at your doorstep at 7. Long gone are the days of last minute excuses for breaking a date, or simply not showing up. This dater is accountable,” says Winter

4. They Say They Are Ready To Settle Down.

Has your date made it clear they are ready to get married? Winter says it’s very possible they mean it — provided their behavior is backing up their words. “They don’t beat around the bush and aren’t vague in terms of what they’re looking for in a relationship. They’ll state outright that they’re looking for a life partner,” explains Winter.

While only time can truly tell how serious someone is about settling down, these behaviors on a date are good signs that they are actually looking for something real and long term… as in forever long term. As for what to avoid if you are also ready to get hitched, Winter says to be wary of anyone who is inattentive on your date. “If your date is checking their phone, late showing up, distracted, or vague in their answers about what they’re looking for, they’re marking time. If they’re serious about a relationship, their attention is fully on you. Signs to the contrary are evidence that a person is not ready, or interested in something serious,” she concludes. So, if that happens, you can feel free to swipe left on this person moving forward and stay open to the people who actually want what you want.

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