A SEXPERT has revealed the “sex window” women have on dates that men constantly miss.
Relationship guru Nadia Bokody, from Australia, said men constantly come to her frustrated after not kissing a girl on a date and wondering where it all went wrong.
Writing for News.com.au, Nadia wrote: “Where men tend to go wrong, is missing the window to establish subtle touch early on in a date with a woman, then attempting to interject overt sexual contact at the end of the night when they’ve received no indication she’s conducive to it.
“While a woman will probably feel violated by this approach, she’s unlikely to take issue with sitting close enough at the bar (incidentally, a far better first date option than dinner) so her knees are touching his, or the odd tap on the forearm while he’s laughing at a joke.
“If she’s uncomfortable with that, she’ll make it clear by adjusting her position to recreate space between them.
“And if she’s reciprocating his touch throughout the evening, then kissing – and perhaps sex – become a natural extension of the intimacy that’s already been exchanged over the course of the date.”
Nadia said it is a “fallacy” that women aren’t as interested in sexual intimacy as guys, and said that many have just had enough “terrifying experiences with men to be wary of them.”
She added: “However, this needn’t mean the absence of physical contact within the setting of a date.
“Rather, it calls for an approach that recognises a woman’s legitimate need to feel safe, and not have to worry about how she’s going to brush off an unwanted hand beneath her skirt from a guy she’s just met.
Where men tend to go wrong, is missing the window to establish subtle touch early on in a date with a woman, then attempting to interject overt sexual contact at the end of the night when they’ve received no indication she’s conducive to it.
“Most men don’t want to hear this, because it’s an uncomfortable truth; but women really do like nice guys.
“You’re probably just not as nice of a guy as you think you are.”
She said she constantly speaks to guys who complain about the lack of progress with physical intimacy, especially after insisting they are “nice guys.”
Nadia continued: “Men often insist women really want ‘alpha’ guys who embody the same toxic masculinity feminism is working to dismantle.
“They’ll say things like, ‘I’m a good guy and I never get anywhere with women. Nice guys finish last!’
“This theory is problematic for a number of reasons; not the least being it relies on the flawed premise ‘nice guys’ are owed sex.
“It’s also inaccurate because it treats being ‘nice’ as a kind of limp submissiveness, when it’s wholly possible to both recognise a woman’s humanity and be assertive – the two aren’t mutually exclusive.”
Previously, sexpert Nadia Bokody revealed the common lie told in the bedroom which is ‘hurting women’.
Meanwhile, a sexpert shared the four mistakes we’re all making in the bedroom and why you need to focus on ‘afterplay’.
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