‘I thought we’d stay together ’til I died’: Vanessa Feltz, 60, discusses split from ‘cheating’ Ben Ofoedu, 50, as she vows to ‘hit the town with the girls and fears she’ll make many more mistakes’
Vanessa Feltz has revealed the depth of her upset following her split from ‘cheating’ ex-fiancé Ben Ofoedu, who she had been in a relationship with for 16 years.
The broadcaster, 60, said she was ‘discombobulated’ after it was reported that Ben, 50, was leading a ‘double life’ and she had found a string of social media messages and emails from Ben to other women.
Vanessa wrote in her column for Daily Express that the shock of her discovery was ‘seismic’ and said she had believed they would be together ’til death do us part.’
She said: I’m human and the naked ape likes to lick its wounds behind closed doors’ but added she will ‘not let the shock and sadness write me off.’
Vowing to appreciate what she does have in life, she said: ‘I will cuddle my grandbabies, hit the town with my incredible girlfriends and I will, I fear, go on to make many more mistakes.’
‘I thought we’d stay together ’til I died’: Vanessa Feltz, 60, discussed split from ‘cheating’ Ben Ofoedu, 50, as she vowed to ‘hit the town with the girls’ (stock image)
Vanessa had already said that her heart snapped into ‘a million pieces’ after she split from her Ben.
She told TalkTV viewers on Monday that her 16-year relationship ending was a ‘horrible shock’ but she’s determined not to be ‘derailed’ as she carries on with her life as best she can.
It emerged at the weekend that Vanessa and Phats & Small singer Ben had parted ways after he was allegedly unfaithful while touring UK holiday parks with his electronic dance music act.
Vanessa said today: ‘I can’t be the only person in the country nursing a broken heart, can I? I am absolutely determined to put my best foot forward, to keep on trucking, all that sort of stuff. Keep calm and carry on.
‘Having said all of this, obviously inside I’m feeling all sorts of things, no questions about it. Very hurt, very sad, terribly disappointed, worried about the future, all the normal stuff – of course I am.’
Vanessa was joined by television presenter Sue Atkins who drew on her own experience of heartbreak to compare the pain to the grief following the death of a loved one.
After Sue recommended Vanessa ensure she have close friends on hand for support and to talk to, Vanessa protested: ‘I’ve had enough of that. I don’t even really have the urge to. I don’t even really want to discuss that person at all.’
Vanessa continued: ‘The thing is, that my mum died at 57 years old and I have mourned her every day. She’s missed so much – now I might start crying and I hope I don’t as that would be very unprofessional.
Happier times: Vowing to appreciate what she does have in life, she said: ‘I will cuddle my grandbabies, hit the town with my incredible girlfriends and I will, I fear, go on to make many more mistakes’
‘So, when I lived to be older than my mum, and I am older, I’m 60, I’ve been so grateful to be alive. I’ve been so grateful, because I didn’t think it was a given right? I was so pleased.
‘So, I was absolutely determined to wring every ounce of happiness and fun and adventure and excitement from every day. And I really mean it, I’m not just saying it because it’s sloshy and slushy – I really mean it.
‘So, when people say “eurgh, you’re 60, you’re old, how do you feel?” The answer is grateful. I feel incredibly grateful, I’m so pleased to be alive. And I’m so determined to enjoy everything I’m given to have.
‘But obviously when you get a horrible shock and your heart snaps into a million pieces and you’re just thinking “oh my God,” all that thing about enjoying every minute, it’s a gift, it’s a wonderful thing, just kind of evaporates. It’s very difficult.’
She added: ‘It’s hard then, because you’re on track to be appreciating every minute and you’re feeling so sad. It’s hard, isn’t it? I’m determined to do it, but it is hard. I don’t want to be derailed from it.’
Heartbroken: During her TalkTV show on Monday, Vanessa said her heart snapped into ‘a million pieces’ after she split from her ex-fiancé Ben amid claims he cheated
Stunned: The broadcaster, told TalkTV viewers on Monday that her 16-year relationship with Phats & Small singer Ben, 50, ending was a ‘horrible shock’ (pictured in 2015)
It comes after Vanessa shared an update after confirming she’d split from her partner of 16 years, Ben.
Amid reports that he had cheated on Vanessa multiple times, the star told fans she was ‘incredibly sad, disappointed and shocked’ in a video posted to her Instagram page on Sunday afternoon.
The candid clip was met by an outpouring of supportive comments from the broadcaster’s friends including Carol Vorderman and Holly Willoughby.
Tough times: Vanessa was joined on her show by television presenter Sue Atkins who drew on her own experience of heartbreak to compare the pain to the grief
‘Well I haven’t been on instagram for three weeks and that’s because my relationship with Ben is over after sixteen years and I honestly didn’t know what to say to you on instagram,’ Vanessa told her followers.
‘But now it’s clear that it’s over and I really do feel that once the trust in a relationship is gone then you can’t really get it back and that’s what I would tell anyone else to do.’
Her voice breaking, she continued: ‘And so I just wanted to say that obviously I feel incredibly sad and I am pretty disappointed and shocked and all those horrible things but also full of resolve. I am not going to let this defeat me.’
‘Incredibly sad’: It comes after Vanessa shared an update after confirming she has split from her partner of 16 years, Ben
In an incredibly positive move, she added: ‘I am so glad to be living longer than my mum did, she died at 57 and for the Lord’s prayers, I am going to be 61 next month.
‘I am very very grateful to be alive and I want to carry on feeling that way and I want to celebrate and find fun and laughter anywhere I can.
‘I know it is not going to be easy but I am absolutely determined to do it.’
Alongside the video, Vanessa wrote: ‘I’ve missed you #brokenheart #onwardsandupwards #love #life #friends #family #thankyou.’
Vanessa revealed she split from her fiancé Ben, amid claims he ‘cheated with several other women’.
She told The Sun on Sunday she was shocked and heartbroken over Ben’s alleged infidelity.
The couple were together for 16 years and have regularly spoken out about their romance in the past, and are often seen looking cosy on the red carpet at glitzy events.
She said: ‘I had thought it might take a bit longer before this came out, because it’s a lot to deal with — a shock like this takes some adjusting to — but I am extremely sad and disappointed that my 16-year relationship with Ben is over.
Honest: Vanessa told fans she was ‘incredibly sad, disappointed and shocked’ in a video posted to her Instagram page on Sunday afternoon
Love: Her video on Sunday was flooded with comments from Vanessa’s celeb friends and colleagues with Carol Vorderman writing: ‘He’s a….and you have survived far far worse’
‘As an agony aunt I have said many times that once the trust in a relationship is gone, it can never be repaired or regained. So I have to take my own advice on this occasion.
Her video on Sunday was flooded with comments from Vanessa’s celeb friends and colleagues with Carol Vorderman writing: ‘He’s a….and you have survived far far worse V….you ARE a survivor and I can’t wait to be going out with you..as you know.’
Her This Morning co-star Holly Willoughby, with whom Vanessa partied with on Saturday night, added: ‘We simply love you to bits…’
Meanwhile, Zoe Ball said: ‘Feel the love that surrounds you always wonderful V.’
Stepping out: As she released the video, Vanessa was also seen putting on a brave face as she attended a Gala Screening of Epic Tails at Vue Leicester Square on Sunday
Friends: In one snap she received a cuddle from Claire Sweeney in a show of support following a rough few weeks for the star
As she released the video, Vanessa was also seen putting on a brave face as she attended a Gala Screening of Epic Tails at Vue Leicester Square on Sunday.
In one snap she received a cuddle from her fellow former Celebrity Big Brother housemate Claire Sweeney in a show of support following a rough few weeks for the star.
Vanessa looked sensational in the same vibrant print dress that she wore in the Instagram video addressing their recent split.
Support: Vanessa also reshared a series of supportive messages on her Instagram Stories, including one from broadcaster Josh Rom
She also re-shared a series of supportive messages on her Instagram Stories, including one from broadcaster Josh Rom.
He wrote: ‘The strength you have shown is nothing short of incredible. You are an utter inspiration. @Vanessafeltz.’
Vanessa also reposted Carelle Rose’s message, which said: ‘Vanessa is incredible!! This mindset and attitude is just so inspiring. She finds gratitude despite her pain. It’s the only way. Love her.’
Journalist Vanessa and Ben first met in 2005 after she divorced surgeon Michael Kurer in 2000.
Sources told The Sun on Sunday that Ben’s return to touring with Phats & Small at holiday parks around the UK led to his alleged roaming eye.
A friend of the couple told the publication Vanessa is ‘heartbroken, ashamed, devastated’ but they insist she is determined to take back control of her life and focus on her new TalkTV show.
Distraught: Vanessasaid she is shocked and heartbroken over Phats & Small singer Ben’s alleged infidelity (former couple pictured in May last year)
Vanessa married Michael Kurer in 1983 but their marriage ended 17 years later. They share daughters Allegra, 37, and Saskia, 34.
The television personality previously admitted she suffered after the divorce, admitting it left her ‘wary of getting married again’.
Speaking on the How To Fail podcast last year, Vanessa told how she felt as if she was physically broken after her husband left her.
On the road: Sources told The Sun on Sunday that Ben’s return to touring with Phats & Small (pictured) at holiday parks around the UK led to his alleged roaming eye (Ben pictured with his bandmate Jason Phats, right, in 2008)
She said: ‘I don’t need to give you all of the details, but effectively I put my arms around the wheels and said, ‘Please don’t drive away, please don’t leave us.’
‘I remember getting home from a wedding with him and thought he was getting ready for bed.
‘The next thing I saw, he was getting dressed and packing a case and said,”‘I’m leaving”. I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong.’
Vanessa later discovered Michael had allegedly cheated on before she went on to meet Ben after her divorce.
Old times: Vanessa’s first marriage to surgeon Dr. Michael Kurer ended in 2000 after he reportedly left her for another woman, 13-years after they exchanged vows (the former couple are pictured together in 1997)
After Vanessa spent time with Boyzone singer Keith Duffy in the Celebrity Big Brother house in 2001, the pop star decided to introduce her to Ben in 2005.
They got engaged a year later in 2006 and were due to marry the following year, and again in 2011, but did not tie the knot.
Broadcaster Vanessa gave Ben the nickname ‘Young Beezy’, while he called her ‘Young Veezy’.
However, speaking about the 10 years between them last month, Vanessa told The Sunday Times: ‘Don’t let anyone tell you that the age gap doesn’t matter.
‘It’s bloody annoying and it gets worse, especially as our relationship coincided with acres of menopause, which started on my very first day presenting the Radio 2 breakfast show in 2011 with a massive hot flush at 4am and is still going on.’
Vanessa previously admitted she wanted her relationship with the Phats & Small vocalist to stay ‘good’ and not become ‘stagnant, boring and dreary’.
Talking to The Sun about their sex life during lockdown, she said: ‘We haven’t got kids at home any more, so we really can do it whenever we want to.
‘We don’t have to ask for anyone’s permission if we want to do whatever we want, in any room that we feel like doing it in, in any position we want to do it in, at any time of the day. And that is quite a nice feeling.’
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