During an interview with Rolling Stone, SZA spoke at length about how the loss of family members sent her into a depression last year and how self-healing brought her back to music.
In June 2019, SZA lost her grandmother Norma, whose interludes along with the singer’s mother, highlighted CTRL, her debut album.
The singer said the “dark-ass depression” due to the passing of her grandmother was compounded by the losses of her friend, Mac Miller, and her aunt, which both occurred around the same period.
“I’ve buried so many people in my life, you would think that I would be used to it, or just have a threshold. But my grandma broke the threshold for me,” SZA said during the interview. “It was so weird to not have any…I don’t know, any control over anything.”
“My grandma was like my best friend. It was the longest five months of my life,” she added, referring to the period when Norma was in hospice care.
“I didn’t want to make music,” she told writer Emma Carmichael. “I didn’t. I was just trying to not kill myself, and not quit, period. Because it was really f**king hard, and lonely as f**k.”
SZA said she started going to the gym everyday, learned about crystals, meditation and used sound bowls.
“You really have to choose to feel better. You have to. Have to,” SZA said. “Because if you don’t, you just die. I decided I’m going to choose that shit for my fucking self, for real.”
SZA said the awakening allowed her to get back to her routine of making and releasing music and stay uncompromising with regard to her sound.
“I’ve dropped nothing but features. People don’t know who the f**k I am, right? They think I’m on some stupid superstar shiny shit. I know people are tired of seeing that. They want to see me. I owe people that. So I’m going to do that,” SZA explained.
When asked if an album was coming, SZA replied, “Music is coming out this year for sure. An album? Strong words.”
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