The Real Housewives Of Cheshire’s Rachel Lugo believes she has now “risen from the ashes” after an incredibly emotional period of her life.

In 2019, she separated from John Lugo, her husband of 24 years, when it came to light that he had cheated. Fans were delighted when the 48-year-old mum of five found happiness again with 52-year-old Nick Smith, who she met via a dating app and who appeared on the reality show alongside her.

But it wasn’t to be. The couple recently split, with Rachel citing the reason as she “works a lot – and Nick doesn’t work” on her Instagram account.

Embracing her new single life and what she calls her “selfish years”, Rachel exclusively tells us that she realises she needs to stop chasing relationships and find happiness on her own, but admits there may be a little work to do.

“I now have this feeling of freedom, but I’ll also admit my head is still a little all over the place,” she explains.

“I don’t think I took enough time to myself after such a long marriage [to John]. My divorce came through in November – I can’t really talk about it, though – and it was such a long time coming that I now feel free and liberated.

“I no longer have to explain myself to lawyers, partners… anyone.”

However, while she feels “liberated now”, getting back on the dating scene wasn’t an easy decision.

Reflecting on the emotional period of her marriage ending, the reality star admits she worried that no one would want to date her.

“When it ended, I just thought, ‘Oh God, who else is going to want me?’ Who would ever want to say, ‘I’ve met this girl and she’s really nice… oh, but she’s got five kids?’”

Rachel, who is mum to Francesca, 25, William, 23, Sophia, 20, Oliver, 18 and Sienna, 12, adds, “I always had this thing in my head where someone would just reply, ‘Five kids, are you kidding?’ I kept thinking things would never work out.”

During our interview, Rachel also concedes that moving on is difficult and she does struggle at times with her newly solo status now that she and Nick are no longer an item.

“My followers on Instagram always ask how I’m doing and it’s hard because then they’ll also ask, ‘Who is your ideal guy?’ On paper, it would be Nick. I want someone who I can speak to about anything and have a proper belly laugh with. I’d also like someone who is chivalrous.

“The person I’m describing is Nick, there’s no doubt about it. It’s very difficult.

“So for me, it wasn’t so much about the person but everything that comes with having a relationship. I was trying to move on but was then in a position where I still had to doublecheck every decision I was making.

"Then you have a partner, you can’t be selfish. You’ve got to consider the other person.

“I’ve now decided to be selfish because I never have been. As a mum of five kids, you can’t just decide to do things without checking with them, but I’ve eventually said, ‘Right, this is about me now.’”

Rachel says that although she knew the timing of her first post-marriage relationship wasn’t right, she admits that she had other factors to consider, too, after previously admitting on the show – publicly upsetting Nick and causing a major falling out between the pair – she would say “no” if he ever proposed.

“Now it [the split] obviously wasn’t just about timing, there was other stuff. Nick and I weren’t quite aligned as people but no one is perfect. When you don’t have children together it can be very difficult to get on the same page.

“He is paternal and I’m maternal. I might get hate for this, but there is a difference between the two. Our relationship was just a little bit difficult at times, working as much as I do and trying to make sure my children were happy.

Talking about her divorce’s effect on her brood, which now includes Sophia’s one-year-old daughter Saskia, she adds,

“They’ve had a loss through all of this, too, and had to go through big changes. I need to show that they’re not going to lose me. That was just causing me a lot of stress when I didn’t need it.”

Admitting that she “totally over-mothers” her children, Rachel reveals the upsetting truth behind her need to focus on being a “present” mother.

“I’ll be the first to say that I totally over-mother my children. I know I do that but I choose to. I grew up without a mother from the age of nine and there were a lot of times when I needed her.

“Don’t get me wrong, I had a lovely childhood, but my mum left to live in America. My dad was fantastic but he was an alcoholic. It made my childhood difficult and that’s why I always put my kids first.”

Now, single and ready for her next step, the reality star is selling the family home and moving out.

“I have no time for relationships just now, I’ve got loads on. Moving out of the home I’ve lived in for 20 years has been a massive upheaval.

“Let me tell you, I keep everything and I mean everything [laughs]. But, emotionally, it feels like another loss and I’m struggling with that, especially for the kids who are having to go through it. It’s very sad.”

When it comes to picking her next location to create memories in, the star is struggling to think of where she’ll search for her forever home.

“I have no idea where I’m going to live. Everyone wants to know things like, ‘Will it have stables?’ because the horses are a big part of my life. Plus, I have my granddaughter, who now who lives with me. There’s a lot to consider.

“I’m in two minds – I’ve got to stay in Cheshire, obviously, because of the show. I’ve also got four children living at home… and four horses, three dogs and a cat.”

While boyfriends might be off the cards for Rachel, baby granddaughter Saskia has taken over as the new love of her life.

“I go by Nana,” she smiles. “It’s great for those people who want to be called by their first names but I’m proud to be Nana.”

“I’m forever cuddling her and saying, ‘Nana will look out for you.’ My daughter Sophia is not in a relationship, sadly, so they both need me.

“Sophia has just astounded me with how much she’s stepped up to being a mum. She’s doing amazing and it’s hard for her but she hardly asks for help. I love having them living with me. Saskia is such a chilled and happy baby.”

Rachel also opens up about how frightening symptoms made her prioritise her health in this new chapter of her life.

“I started getting an awful lot of pain in my chest at about 5am every morning. I didn’t know what it was so I went to the doctors and they organised CT scans, biopsies, all sorts of things. They thought it was a hiatus hernia.

“But turns out it was perimenopause, which was heightened by intolerances and stress from the divorce. I’ve since started fasting, which the doctor advised me to do, and I don’t eat at least three hours before going to bed. It’s had such a positive impact on my weight loss. I’ve got my jawline back!”

The social media star also recognises the pressure for women of all ages to look good and says that, although she wouldn’t opt for any more surgery, she’s glad she did in the past as it gave her body confidence post-divorce.

“I had a tummy tuck after having five babies because I had so much excess skin. I won’t get any more surgery, I’m quite happy. I used to wear two pairs of Spanx and I didn’t wear a bikini in public for 19 years.

"I’ve still got stretch marks and that’s fine, but I did feel really good after my tummy tuck.

“Also, can you imagine finding yourself single after so many years and not being confident with your body. It’s hard enough dating without thinking, ‘Oh my God, this guy is going to see me naked.’”

Rachel says that living her life under the glare of TV cameras and social media can impact both break-ups and relationships.

“I didn’t even enter the show originally with Nick, so when he joined the viewers saw the infancy of our relationship. They even saw him ask me out on camera.

“They saw my life completely fall apart and then slowly, but surely, rise from the ashes.

“Although I’m on a reality show, I am quite private about certain things. When you bring someone into the world of reality TV, you feel like you need to protect them,” she reflects.

“Nick is a lovely guy and I can’t say anything wrong about him. Although at times we did argue, everyone does, and I just didn’t think it was fair to go into the ins and outs of everything.

“But the viewers are heavily invested in my relationships, especially last season when I went to a fortune teller who said, ‘Oh, you’re definitely going to marry him.’

On a parting note, Rachel does ponder if she did the right thing in “letting Nick go” to move on with her life.

“Will I live with regrets? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not saying love will never be on the cards. My kids laugh and say, ‘Mum, no one will knock on your bedroom door and ask you,’ and I know that.

"But I’m still figuring out my own head. Never say never.”

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