In January 2021, Donald Trump was angry and isolated following his incitement of the insurrection. He sat alone in the White House, fuming about how Mike Pence and Rudy Giuliani screwed him over. He was mad at Pence because Pence wouldn’t overthrow the government for him. He was mad at Rudy because Rudy’s Angry Fart Tour had failed to disenfranchise voters. It was during that time that Trump decided that he was not going to pay Rudy Giuliani anything for traveling around the country for weeks, making an ass out of himself on Trump’s behalf. Maybe Trump was never going to pay Rudy – after all, Trump has a lengthy history of refusing to pay people. I bring this up because Donald Trump is apparently having a hell of a time hiring qualified lawyers right now. Perhaps that’s because he refused to pay his last lawyer, who was a drunken, fart-soaked Covid super-spreading maniac?

Former president Donald Trump and close aides have spent the eight days since the FBI searched his Florida home rushing to assemble a team of respected defense lawyers. But the answer they keep hearing is “no.”

The struggle to find expert legal advice puts Trump in a bind as he faces potential criminal exposure from a records dispute with the National Archives that escalated into a federal investigation into possible violations of the Espionage Act and other statutes.

“Everyone is saying no,” said a prominent Republican lawyer, who like some others spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss confidential conversations. Longtime confidants and advisers of Trump have grown extremely worried about Trump’s current stable of lawyers, noting that most of them have little to no experience in cases of this type, according to two people familiar with the internal discussions.

Ordinarily, the prestige and publicity of representing a former president, as well as the new and complex legal issues at stake in this case, would attract high-powered attorneys. But Trump’s search is being hampered by his divisiveness, as well as his reputation for stiffing vendors and ignoring advice.

“In olden days, he would tell firms representing him was a benefit because they could advertise off it. Today it’s not the same,” said Michael Cohen, a former lawyer for Trump who was convicted of tax evasion, false statements, campaign finance violations and lying to Congress in 2018. “He’s also a very difficult client in that he’s always pushing the envelope, he rarely listens to sound legal advice, and he wants you to do things that are not appropriate, ethically or legally.”

One lawyer told a story from early in Trump’s presidency of his legal team urging him against tweeting about the Mueller probe, only to find he’d tweeted about it before they got to the end of the West Wing driveway. Several people said Trump was nearly impossible to represent and that it would be unclear if they would ever get paid.

[From WaPo]

In summary, Donald Trump is too broke-ass, cheap, mobbed up, guilty and senile for any respectable lawyer to agree to represent him. No lawyer wants to spend months trying to give Trump reasonable legal advice only for him to post crazy sh-t to Truth Social and then refuse to pay the bill as he waddles off to prison. It would be hilarious if the only lawyers who agreed to represent Trump were ambulance-chasing con artists. Those guys are probably saying no to him too!

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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