Well, so long, 2019 in television — it was fun. Now we face into a new year; I wonder what we can expect?

No doubt a few shows will come out of left-field to surprise and amaze us. Some much-hyped productions will turn out to be more disappointing than every U2 album since 1997.

And weekends will be spent pondering why, exactly, there’s a breezy chat-show on RTÉ One every Saturday night… less than 24 hours after the end of the breezy chat-show on RTé One which goes out every Friday night.

So how will the coming 12 months go? I don’t know — who am I, Nostradamus? But I can tell you how I’d like to see it going…

No more than one breezy chat-show on RTÉ — One per week

Seriously, like — it’s getting silly now. It’s hard enough for Irish talk-shows to compete with UK behemoths for guests, but when there are two of you?

Ray D’Arcy hasn’t exactly covered himself in glory since returning to RTÉ, but in fairness, he has little enough to work with by the time The Late Late has had its pick.

More live sport on Irish TV

Not soccer and GAA — great games, but they get plenty coverage.

What I want to see is the return of those other sports that are equally good (well, almost: nothing touches hurling, really) but have been shamefully neglected by programmers for years. Wimbledon and the French Open, the Tour de France, major track and field events: these used to be regularly show on Irish telly. Bring them back!

And on that theme, here’s how to clear some space in the schedule for it…

Less rugby

Jesus, enough already. Virtually nobody here plays it, nobody’s a member of a club, it’s awful to watch.

But for some mysterious reason, this so-called ‘sport’ is all over our airwaves. Six Nations is fine; anything else — autumn ‘Tests’, underage — is just taking the mickey.

A final season of Archer

My favourite comedy and cartoon since the glory years of The Simpsons has delivered 10 seasons of nonpareil brilliance in the form (both forms).

There are rumours abroad that creator Adam Reed is considering ending this beautifully animated, exceptionally well-written spoof of spy stories (and, in dream-sequence series, cop shows, film noir, sci-fi and even 1930s adventure serials).

Go on, give us one more year.

Another season of Dublin Murders

We love Cassie and Rob! Even more than they love each other! I need at least one more series of Dublin Murders.

And no, not to tie up the narrative loose-ends from last time round — I’m not a child, I can handle open-ended conclusions to stories — but simply because Sarah Greene and Killian Scott were great, the script was great, Nidge was great, the bald eunuch off Game of Thrones was great, the cinematography and editing were great, everyone and everything about it (almost) was great.

Many more seasons of Mindhunter

It’s artful, powerful and fantastic telly, and given that Holden and Bill have only just got to the 1980s — boom-time for serial-killing in the US — there’s a myriad of sick wackos for them to hunt down. Jeffrey Dahmer, we’re coming for you.

Less self-importance and pretentiousness in ‘prestige’ television

I always vomit in my mouth a little when I see producers of shows like Westworld talking about building the universe and fleshing out the mythology and all that nonsense.

Yo, you’re not Homer writing The Odyssey: you’re someone making entertainment for the masses.

It’s a fine and noble calling, but don’t get notions about yourself or your work.

Forget about “using season one to establish the overreaching narrative arc for seasons two through to nine”: just make that first season good drama, not a vaguely ridiculous and deadly boring lecture.

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