DEAR DEIDRE:  MY partner is a really great guy but is just not into sex and has erectile dysfunction. Should I buy him a penis pump?

I’m a woman of 61, divorced and want to settle down. I’ve been with my man for a year. 


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He’s 64 and retired from the Army. He keeps himself fit but I wonder sometimes what for. 

I’m not sure of the depth of his feelings for me. He’s quite shy and is a man’s man, really.

Would a pump help him in bed? He’s tried meds for erectile dysfunction but says they don’t help. 

I want so much more. Should I let him down gradually and look for a new man? I’m aware that I don’t have much time.

DEIDRE SAYS: You do sound in a rush and are probably scaring the life out of him. You say he’s a great guy but you don’t mention love.

Edgy sex seems important to you and it sounds like he’s not on your page.

Don’t buy him a pump, get talking some more. 

Do you want the same things? Or are you better off just being friends?

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