A MUM has opened up about the moment she was told one of her twin daughters had Down's Syndrome – and says her doctor's reaction made her think her baby had died.
Nicole Bailey gave birth to daughters Harper and Quinn four weeks early and hardly saw their faces before she was taken into a special care ward.
Speaking to Tyla, Nicola recalled how two doctors came to see her immediately afterwards and warned were nervous to tell her the "sad news.
When one said they were "really sorry to have to tell you this", Nicola panicked and thought one of her daughters had died.
However, Nicola was told that baby Harper – who was born 38 minutes before her sister Quinn – had Down's Syndrome, which only has a one in a million chance of occurring in twin pregnancies.
Describing the "traumatic" ordeal, Nicola says their reaction made her feel "robbed" of celebrating her baby girl's arrival.
Happy 2nd birthday to my beautiful girls, You two bring the crazy in my life but I would not want it any other way so here’s to you my wild ones ♥️
A post shared byNicola – Twin Mama (@baileyandthebabies) on
She said: "It is very common with a diagnosis of Down's Syndrome to go through grieving.
"With all the negativity, it made me not want to bond with her. You're made to feel as though their life is valued less."
Although Nicola recognises that the doctors wanted to present her with the facts, she wishes they'd congratulated her on the twins' arrival and reassured her they were doing okay first.
"If they've done it like that then it would have been less traumatic," she said. "But the way they deliver the news, you think your child is dying – it's a horrible way of receiving information."
I know when we received your diagnosis two years ago that I cried, I know I felt sad and even disappointed at what I thought I had lost, but you my sweet girls showed me that there was nothing to be sad about, you show me how to be strong, how to enjoy the simple things, you have taught me that life not a race,and how savour every small moment and celebration all our victories however small they might be. I know now I can not change our beginning but we can start where we are right now and change our ending. I was born to be your mother I may have given life to you but all honesty you have helped me find mine so thank you my beautiful for just been you.
A post shared byNicola – Twin Mama (@baileyandthebabies) on
What is Down's Syndrome?
Down’s Syndrome, also known as Down Syndrome or trisomy 21, is a genetic condition that can cause a range of learning challenges.
People born with the condition nearly always have physical and intellectual disabilities.
As adults, their mental abilities tend to be similar to those of an eight or nine-year-old.
Each person with Down's Syndrome will have different degrees of learning disability, including being slower to learn sitting, standing and walking.
Around one in 10 children with Down's Syndrome also have another condition, such as ADHD or being on the autism spectrum.
There is no “cure” for Down's Syndrome, but there is support available, such as access to healthcare specialists and development therapists.
Many people with the condition are able to leave home, have relationships and be largely independent.
They are more likely to have certain health problems however, such as heart disorders, hearing and vision challenges and thyroid issues.
All pregnant women are offered screening tests for Down's Syndrome.
The tests can’t tell you if your baby definitely has it, but it will reveal the likelihood.
Further tests can include a chorionic villus sampling (CVS), which is when a small sample of the placenta is tested at 11-14 weeks of pregnancy.
Other tests include an amniocentesis, where a small sample of amniotic fluid is tested during the 15-20 weeks of pregnancy.
At first, Nicola admitted she felt angry and frustrated that doctor's discovered Harper had Down's Syndrome when they were doing their routine tests during her pregnancy.
Opening up about those emotional first few days, Nicola said: "I had moments after she was born where I grieved.
"I feel awful about that now because I remember looking at her and thinking, 'I don't know what to do with you, am I going to be who you need me to be?'"
In the UK, all pregnant women are offered screening tests for Down's Syndrome which reveals the likelihood of your baby having the condition.
The mum-of-three uses her platform on Instagram to educate other mums with Down's Syndrome children and encourage medical practitioners to approach the diagnosis in a more compassionate and positive manner.
Nicola isn't the only one who has been traumatised by how her doctors discussed Down's Syndrome and says she's received messages from other mums who felt pressured to have abortions.
The twins have now celebrated their second birthday and the mum says she would never change anything about her daughter.
Nicola said: "If you take the Down's Syndrome out of Harper, she isn't Harper anymore.
"She sees the world the way she does because of who she is. It is who she is meant to be."
For more real life stories, this teen with Down's Syndrome has become a successful model 15 years after her mum was told to "put her in an institution".
And this mum revealed her autistic son died when he ran into the road – and she says she'll never forgive herself for leaving him for a minute.
Plus this free-birthing mum-of-eight filmed herself having twins in her living room and she didn't have any pain relief.
Source: Read Full Article