Everyday Ageism: FEMAIL columnist CHRISTA D’SOUZA, 59, argues older people have to speak up if friends or relatives start talking for them

• Christa D’Souza, 59, argues older people cannot let others speak for them
• She says she speaks of her elderly relatives in the third person in front of them
• FEMAIL columnist asks people to take a stand against being spoken down to

It’s the last tolerated prejudice. But Femail’s had enough. It’s time we called out those day-to-day moments when we’re patronised for no longer being young…

There is a habit I have when talking to people older than myself of Enunciating Each Word Very Clearly And Loudly. 

It must drive those of them who have perfect hearing absolutely mad.

Another habit I am guilty of when it comes to older people is speaking of them in the third person when they are right there in the room with you. Especially if they are related to me.

Christa D’Souza: A habit I am guilty of when it comes to older people is speaking of them in the third person when they are right there in the room with you

My sister and I did this at lunch with our mother last weekend, telling the waiter she’ll have her starter with her main, or that she prefers still to sparkling, that kind of thing.

Why does she let us do it? And come to think of it, why do I let my children do it to me? 

‘Mum won’t know how to work that, give it to me’ sort of thing. Is this what puts us in care homes before our time?

Do we not understand that the less responsibility we are given for our lives, the less we are able to take on? This silly ageist charade must be avoided at all costs. 

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