Most husbands would feel a little uneasy at the idea of their wife spending intimate time with another man but chartered surveyor Graham actively encourages it.
Graham and his wife Caroline, from Sussex, are profiled in tonight’s BBC2 documentary Louis Theroux: Selling Sex.
In the show Louis, who in the past has interviewed religious fundamentalists, white supremacists and notorious celebrities such as the late Jimmy Savile, turns his attention to sex workers.
By interviewing three women who had sex with men for money, he tries to understand the psychology of both the women and the men to pay them.
But he also interviews Graham, who is not exactly Caroline’s pimp but is certainly her enabler, advisor, and cheerleader in her escorting life.
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When Caroline gets ready to give another man a “real girlfriend experience,” dressed in a revealing outfit Graham has chosen, the couple enact a strangely religious ritual.
She recites a promise that sounds as if she’s said it a million times before: I” belong to you. I’m yours. But I want to give myself to another man… for an hour.”
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Graham and Louis slope off to the pub as Caroline’s punter arrives. Graham reveals that Caroline had an intensely repressed religious upbringing and she was very uneasy about sex for most of her adult life.
“I knew she was pretty sexually repressed, to put it mildly,” he says, ”and that was an issue.”
After meeting a women on holiday who did sex work, Graham suggested, jokingly, to Caroline that she should try it.
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Caroline says she always struggled with her self-esteem and the knowledge that she is desired by dozens of men who are willing to pay to go to bed with her makes her feel better about herself.”Graham’s my biggest encouragement,” she says.
After the client has left, Graham, Caroline and Louis settle down for a glass of wine and a debrief. “How good was it?” asks Graham.
“It wasn’t a professional job,”replies Caroline. “It was a good time. it was… enjoyable.”
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Graham is generally relaxed about his wife sleeping with other men, but he says that’s not always the case. If they haven’t been getting on well: “ I can maybe feel a bit jealous or a bit irritated about what she’s doing,” he tells Louis.
Sometimes, he confides, he wants “more attention” from his wife.
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The pair are comfortably off and Caroline says she doesn’t really do it for the money. Of the three sex workers interviewed in the show Caroline is the only one that tells Louis she enjoys the sex.
She says that escorting has made her happier with her husband: “The experience I’ve had with other men helps me have a better sex life with Graham,” she explains.
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Graham says that his wife’s late career switch from dental nurse to sex worker has made his sex life better too: “She’s everything I want and dream of,” he tells Louis, “Which is not something I would have said a few years ago.”
Caroline confesses, finally, that some mornings she wakes up and doesn’t feel like carrying on with sex work but “I want do a good job…and I don’t have anything else to do.”
Louis Theroux: Selling Sex is on BBC Two at 9pm on Sunday 12th January 2020, and then available to stream on iPlayer
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