DEAR DEIDRE: AGREEING to what my boyfriend wants – either me having sex with another guy or if he watches me flashing my underwear at other men – seems to be the only thing that interests him in that area.

If I won’t agree to either, then he just doesn’t want sex with me.

I’ve tried to spice things up, suggesting having sex in other locations but he says that “it’s all just normal sex.”

He’s now obsessed with playing out his fantasies of a threesome or me becoming a flasher.

I’ve gone along with his fantasies sometimes and talked about sex with other men but he then thinks I’m serious and wants us to go out and pick somebody up.

I’m 35 and he’s 38. We love one another and used to have sex all the time but now he just doesn’t seem interested. It’s his way or the highway.

DEIDRE SAYS: Stick to your guns. Explain that bringing in a third party is likely to ruin your relationship, that real people can’t be manipulated at will like fantasies – and you don’t want to be arrested for flashing either.

Tell him that you love him and still find him sexually attractive but there are other ways of getting back the va-va-voom – and keeping things just between you two.

My e-leaflet called 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex has lots of ideas.

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