DIDN’T we all know this was bound to happen? The new lockdown rules — a kind of semi-lockdown.

People to be fined if in groups larger than six. Including in their own homes.

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Everybody told to start washing their hands again. The rate of infections in Spain, France and Germany rose pretty dramatically once they eased lockdown measures.

At every step of the way, we’ve been about two weeks behind those countries. So, sure enough, once lockdown was eased here, up went the infection rate.

It’s now roughly half of what we experienced in March. Hotspots are popping up on the UK map like zits on an Extinction Rebellion protester’s face. I’m writing this from one such hotspot, Redcar and Cleveland.

And I can tell you that while we all dutifully wear masks while shopping, and stand two metres apart, the young people are having none of it.

Parties on the beach. Bars packed out. I’ve had sexual intercourse in a more socially distanced manner than the under-30s just having a pint. The Government is a little to blame, once again.

Our priority should have been to open schools, a long time ago, not pubs and restaurants. We should never have had that mass exodus to the bars on July 4.

What the Government should have said was: “OK, you want to go out for a drink? Fine. But make it just once a week or even once a fortnight. And act responsibly. Understand that the virus is still about.”

I get the impatience with lockdown. Yes, it’s boring, even for an old scrote like me.

But it’s not much MORE than boring, is it? It’s not an enormous privation. I say the same thing I said back in March. My parents had to endure a world war.

My mum was bombed out of her house in Bermondsey. My dad was at the risk of being killed every day in the Royal Navy. Later, in the 1970s, we had power cuts three days each week.

No TV. Tea by candlelight, and a cold tea unless you had gas. Come on, all you’ve been asked to do is sit at home and watch Netflix for a little bit longer.

This problem has occurred because many young people don’t give a monkey’s about Covid. They are right that it doesn’t cause them much harm. But it causes other people great harm once they’ve passed it on. Which is what will happen.




The more sensible we are now, the sooner this virus will be beaten.

Let’s revert a bit to what we were doing in March. Planning ahead and doing just one shopping trip per week. Maybe limit going out to once a fortnight. Would that hurt terribly?

If we don’t do this, we face a grim autumn and an even grimmer winter. Already, I think Health Secretary Matt Hancock’s suggestion that we can have a “normal” Christmas is looking mighty optimistic.

Unless we all use a little bit of common sense — and take responsibility for our actions.

I’ve blamed Boris Johnson and his government for their handling of this crisis. I still think they were pitifully slow to get to grips with the pandemic.

But now it’s down to us — not Hancock or BoJo. If we really do hit a massive second wave, it won’t be the Government to blame this time.

No thanks a million

THINGS I might spend a million quid on if I had a million quid?

A grouse moor, except no shooting allowed; a nice house in the Rocky Mountains; 50,000 bottles of sauvignon blanc and 50,000 packets of Superkings; guns, surface-to-air missiles, cannons, maybe a nuke etc – just in case.

Things I would NOT spend a million quid on? Listening to Harry and Meghan making a speech.

Yep, that’s how much they are charging.

If I wanted to hear a pair of affluent whingers moaning about privilege, I’d attend the Liberal Democrat conference. For now.

Would ANYONE pay a million to hear those two?


BLOKE goes on the rampage in Birmingham. Stabs one poor bloke to death, a young man called Jacob Billington, and wounds seven others. Why did this happen?

According to the West Midlands Police and Crime Commissioner, it was because of lockdown. David Jamieson said that violence was “almost inevitable”.

Because people had “a lot of pent-up feelings” regarding the pandemic.

Hmm. How many people have you stabbed to death because you’re a bit hacked off about the lockdown? Where do they find these halfwits?


MOST cheering news of the year.

A woman complained to the Co-op that it had placed adverts in The Spectator, a right-of-centre magazine.

“You’re supporting bigots!” she screamed. A dimbo in the Co-op press office tweeted that they wouldn’t be doing so any more.

In stepped broadcaster and journalist Andrew Neil, chairman of The Spectator.

He told the Co-op they were banned from ever advertising in his publication. Cue an immediate retraction from the Co-op, saying the tweet had been made “in error”. That’s the way to deal with totalitarian Lefties.

People who are never happier than when closing down freedom of speech – and companies all too ready to go along with them to avoid bad publicity. Incidentally, The Spectator gained more than 500 new subscriptions as a result.


FOOTBALL commentators are being told they can’t use certain words, in case they offend.

Cakewalk is one – as in: “This is yet another cakewalk for Millwall over Charlton, five-nil and only 15 minutes played.”

The word supposedly has its origins in a competitive dance performed by slaves. Winner got a cake. So what? It has come to mean something else.

Only people who yearn to be offended could take offence at the word cakewalk. When will this insanity end?


ANOTHER reason to hope Donald Trump wins the US presidential election.

The Democrats have warned that any trade deal with the US could be harmed by Boris Johnson’s negotiating strategy for Brexit.

In particular, any changes to the rules affecting Northern Ireland.

The Democrat challenger, Joe Biden, is an Irish-American. In truth, the Democrats have always disliked the UK.

It was Democrat politicians who backed the IRA, for example.

Donald Trump may be a nutter but at least he’s OUR nutter.


SASHA JOHNSON is one of Black Lives Matter’s British leaders.

She has tweeted: “The white man will not be our equal but our slave. History is changing. No justice, no peace #BLM.”

And she repeatedly referred to a black man who disagreed with her point of view as a c**n.

She wishes to dismantle capitalism. Meanwhile, US cities are burning as a consequence of BLM and their allies in Antifa.

BLM demonstrators attack members of the public. Looting is rife. We all want racial equality, but this is divisive.

So, England boss Gareth Southgate, do you not think it’s time your team stopped taking the knee in support of this foul organisation? Or do you agree with Ms Johnson?


DOES anyone else have a dishwasher that tells you stuff? Mine does, when on its long cycle. Sometimes it says weird things like: “Rub your mother, rub your mother, rub your mother.”

Sometimes, especially on the rinse cycle, it gets political and says:

“Thatcher was right. Thatcher was right. Thatcher was right.”

If your dishwasher says the same sorts of things, take a tip from me. Don’t argue with it, as I did. Makes no difference. Just keeps repeating the same nonsense.


WORDS you will soon read from an economic migrant who arrived at Dover: “Spent the first half of the crossing in a tiny dinghy with 18 others.

“Had to swim the rest of the way when coastguards turned up.

"Got to Dover and was interrogated for 18 hours. So why, after all that, am I heading back to Calais? Well, they put me in a house with this incredibly boring bloke. Used to play football or something.

“He was tweeting rubbish all the time.

"He tried to get me to eat these horrible crisps. Couldn’t stand it. I think his name was Gary . . . ”

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