THESE are the barmy rules and loopholes introduced by Boris Johnson that will come into force today.

As well as shutting the pubs at 10pm tonight, Brits will be forced to abide by the following rules:

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OFF TO CINEMA FOR NIGHT CAP: Pubs have to close at 10pm, but drinkers can buy a bottle of wine just before then and watch a three-hour epic to carry on boozing under a bizarre exemption. Cinemas will be allowed to serve booze up until the curfew, while films starting before 10pm will be able to run into the night.

LOVERS' TIFF: New lovers need to take “particular care to follow the guidance on social distancing”. Casual sex is banned as No 10 urge frisky members of the public to “be sensible”. The guidance also says you can stay at someone else’s home, provided there are fewer than six, but try to stay socially distanced at all times.

BAD BAPTISMS: Only six people can attend a baptism — including the baby. So grandparents, god­parents and other close family members will not be able to be at a ceremony, which ­Downing Street identified as one area where social distancing is likely to be breached.

MAD MACCAS: You can still order a McDonald’s and Pret at a counter but you can’t order a pint. Licensed venues that serve alcohol have to have table service — Downing Street says the virus spreads among drunk people who forget to social distance.

ONE RULE FOR YOU: Ministers and billionaires don’t have to wear a mask in chauffeur-driven cars while YOU have to wear one in a taxi.

Downing Street said the PM will wear a face covering when travelling by car. Masks will also be mandatory for drivers, and passengers in private hire vehicles, like Ubers.

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