Bring it in tight, Luke Keary, Roosters five-eighth. I get that you are a football professional, that your livelihood depends on getting out on the field, and that you wouldn’t be there in the first place unless you had a certain and natural “I’m bulletproof” feel about you. I commend you for, despite that, conceding that five big concussions in the last two years is a worry. But I draw your attention to the quotes you gave to the Tele on Thursday.

Roosters playmaker Luke Keary has suffered five serious concussions in the past two NRL seasons.Credit:NRL Photos

Illustration: John ShakespeareCredit:

“Most of them haven’t been my fault,” you said, “they have been accidental head knocks, which are going to happen in our game. If I don’t want that well then I shouldn’t be playing. I understand it’s a part of our game and it’s always going to be. It’s not good, it’s not pretty and we don’t want it to be, but it is a contact sport and it’s going to happen.”

Mate? Get a grip. The arbiter of whether or not you are in trouble is not whether or not the contact was deliberate or accidental. It was like in my day, we seriously felt it made a difference if the impact on your brain came from a fist in a glove, or a foot in a boot. Only boxers got brain damage we thought. We’re footballers. Our brains will know the difference.

In your case, what the hell does it matter if the concussions you’re getting so frequently are accidental or deliberate? Do you think your brain knows the difference. All that it means is, in your line of work, you’re getting knocked out too often to be safe. You’re about to start this season. So be it. But if you get knocked out again, do the right thing by yourself and your family. Take up a clipboard, and move into a different part of the game.

No Earl Grey areas

You will recall TFF’s raised eyebrow last week regarding Magistrate Robyn Denes' curious remarks from the bench to Penrith Panther Tyrone May after convicting him on a charge of filming a sexual act without consent: “If you ask someone for a cup of tea,” she said, “you ask them if you want milk or sugar with that. It makes it really simple. If you don't know they are going to consent, why would you assume they do consent? Do you just assume people want milk and sugar with their tea? No, you ask.”

It was, I remarked, an odd metaphor for that particular crime, but as several readers pointed out, the remarks referred to a particularly popular YouTube video of late, which likens the whole issue of sexual consent to whether or not a person does or doesn’t want a cup of tea.

A Bridget too far …

Despite TFF’s constant rants on SportsRorts, there continue to be defenders saying this is simply the way the system works, and it is like our damn hide to insist it can be done better. And yet stuff still comes into my inbox which shows just how OUTRAGEOUS the whole thing is.

It just wouldn’t be right for a rowing club not to have new boat racks, am I right?

This week the best one came from one reader, who forensically examined the issue of Tony Abbott’s announcement on April 24, just three weeks before last year's election, that Mosman Rowing Club was to receive a $500,000 grant of federal taxpayers' money to build new boat racks and extend their pontoon. (Because, like, it just wouldn’t be right for a rowing club not to have new boat racks, am I right?)

“The Club's 2018 Annual Report,” Cox notes, “lists all of their members and coaches. In 2017-18 they had 219 members and coaches in total, including life members. So Bridget McKenzie's $500,000 grant equates to $2283 per member.”

I repeat: defend that!

Proud history

TFF’s item a fortnight ago about North Steyne SLSC wonderfully training up a couple of Palestinians to become accredited lifesavers in order to establish a surf lifesaving club on the Gaza Strip prompted a fascinating email from Professor Martin Hadlow of UQ fame, noting the wonderful historical antecedents for such a club.

During WWII, see, Gaza Beach in Palestine was a major rest and recreation location for Australian troops, with our army appointing its own beach inspectors, and even holding a surf life saving and swimming carnival there on Sunday July 14, 1940. The official beach inspectors logbook indicates that “Every Unit was represented and Lieutenant-General Sir Thomas Blamey and Major-General Mackay and their staffs were in attendance.” The logbook further notes that “The carnival was voted by all a huge success.”

They ran, they swam, they paraded. The next year many would die in the Battle of Tobruk, and the year after that the Battle of El Alamein. But that was a day of sheer Australian pleasure, in the sun, on the sand, with their mates, far from home. And it is a lovely historical link for Australians, 80 years on, doing their bit to help the people of Gaza stay safe in the water.

What they said

Australian National Audit Office executive director Brian Boyd, before the Senate subcommittee on the claim by the Prime Minister that all the sports rorts were “eligible”: “So we get to around 43 per cent of those which were awarded funding, by the time the funding agreement was signed, were ineligible.” Game over.



David Warner on winning the Allan Border Medal, refers obliquely to the sandpaper episode: “If I reflect upon the time that I had away from the game, you don’t realise the importance it actually has on everyone and the effect it has on everyone. I'm just extremely grateful, as I said before, to be accepted back by Cricket Australia and my peers and also be accepted by the fans.”

Eddie Jones on reports South Africa may join the Six Nations: “I can only talk from experience. Super Rugby was the golden egg of rugby – brilliant, 12 teams, competitive. As soon as it had gone to 14 and 15, it had lost its allure.” That is right on the money.

Robbie Slater not happy with Tim Cahill’s newly-announced role, spruiking the virtues of the 2022 World Cup in Qatar: “It all sounds like a load of crap to me. It’s up to them, they can call it what they want but I don’t agree that Tim should be on it, I’m sorry. I think it’s a poor choice. I’m not a left-wing activist who is going to go out there and protest but I think this is a poor choice.” He means a poor choice by Cahill rather than Qatar 2022, for whom our most famed Socceroo is a brilliant choice.

Catalans owner Bernard Guasch channelling Donald Trump regarding Israel Folau: “What’s happened has happened, and he doesn’t want to look at the past, he wants to look forward with the Dragons and become a great player once again.”

Sonny Bill Williams after his Toronto rugby league team – the Wolfpack, I think – got their second successive pasting in as many weeks to start the season: “We went out there and fixed a lot of wrongs but still fell short, just in those big moments the lads will agree we didn't quite nail it. It was a massive improvement but there’s always some more learnings to do.”

Fallon Sherrock on being the first female darts player to seriously take on male dart players at the World Championships, more than holding her own. “When Billie Jean King started tweeting messages to me I was like: ‘Wow, this amazing person’s actually contacted me.’ I’m just a normal girl from Milton Keynes. This stuff doesn’t happen to people like me. And then it was the Instagram post from Sarah Jessica Parker. I watched Sex and the City so that was amazing as well. To have two massive people contact me was incredible.”

Max Verstappen on racing against Lewis Hamilton: “Lewis is very good. He is definitely one of the best out there. He is not God, maybe God is with him, but he is not God.”

Edinho, son of Pele, on his father’s health issues: “Imagine, he’s the King, he was always such an imposing figure and today he can't walk properly. He’s embarrassed, he doesn’t want to go out, be seen, or do practically anything that involves leaving the house. He’s pretty fragile … He has this problem with mobility and that has set off a kind of depression.

Vanessa Bryant: “My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. It’s like I'm trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn't being able to have that opportunity?! I'm so mad. She had so much life to live.”

Team of the Week

Emily van Egmond. Nailed the goal in injury time at the Matildas v China match on Thursday evening at Parramatta Stadium to salvage the 1-1 draw necessary to send the Matildas on the high road to the Tokyo Olympics rather than the low road.

Opals. After a tough opening loss in the Olympic qualifiers, our women’s basketball team bounced back by beating Brazil this week to qualify for Tokyo.

Croquet Australia. As this newspaper’s Official Croquet Correspondent – eat my dust, Andrew Webster – I am delighted to report Australia this week is hosting the 2020 Croquet World Cup in Cairnlea, Victoria. Details here.

David Warner. Won the Allan Border Medal as the best men's cricketer in the country.

Naseem Shah. The Pakistani sixteen-year-old became the youngest person to take a Test hat-trick – against Bangladesh – bettering the previous record by four years.

Murray Rose Malabar Magic Ocean Swim. Has been cancelled for tomorrow, due to the prediction of deteriorating weather conditions.

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