I’ve always had a good sex life with my partner, but after we had been together a while, like so many couples, we found ourselves falling into the same routine of positions – we knew what worked for us and I guess it was ‘easy’.

While it sounds lazy, a big part was also down to me feeling so body conscious. I wasn’t happy with how I looked having gained a lot of weight in a short space of time during a previous unhappy relationship, so it was always sex with the lights off and I rarely went on top – unless there was wine involved.

I just imagined my body looking awful from certain angles and my partner staring at me thinking how horrible I looked.

I’m also unable to orgasm through penetrative sex, which has always been the case, and so we always used foreplay – but it would take quite a while to ‘get there’.

Sometimes, this would put a mental block in my head and I’d end up stopping because I felt bad for not being able to climax, and I’d end up putting pressure on myself, which made it worse.

Then I got pregnant.

We still had sex during my pregnancy, and I made sure we did it regularly, because I knew it was an important part of our relationship and I didn’t want to lose that.

But due to my hormones rapidly changing, I stopped being able to orgasm at all. Apparently this is actually quite common.

I still enjoyed sex, but as the weeks went by, the more uncomfortable sex got and we were forced to try different positions to make it work.

One night I decided to go on top. It was different to how I’d imagined.

I felt like my partner couldn’t ‘judge me’ because I was pregnant, and I couldn’t do anything about how my body looked anyway – it was meant to look like this

I’ve always known deep down that my partner wouldn’t have judged me anyway – he’s always been very complimentary and makes sure to let me know that he loves how I look, and this didn’t change in pregnancy, which I think also helped keep our sex life alive.

But from that one night on top, I grew to be a lot more confident in my pregnancy belly – as I saw it, my body was doing something amazing and its growing was out of my control.

When I was 38 weeks pregnant I ended having the baby delivered by caesarean, as doctors were concerned it wasn’t moving enough after after I’d developed gestational diabetes and pregnancy-induced hypertension.

The c-section went fine, and I was out of the hospital in three days. Amazingly, I was up and about the following day and I stopped taking pain relief after 24 hours. I actually felt great, and like it didn’t really take a toll on my body. The scar has healed really well and nine weeks on it’s still neat and I’ve had no issues.

It’s actually improved our sex life, and we still manage to do it around five to six times a week.

Because of how well I felt, my partner and I decided to have sex just a week postpartum. Now, this isn’t something that’s recommended. You are told to wait until your doctor has given you the okay, usually at six weeks. But I spoke to my midwife and she advised me to do it when I felt ‘ready’ – so I did.

I was scared, I won’t lie. I’d heard sex can be very painful after birth and lots of people choose to wait because of the bleeding, which can take a while to subside. I was lucky in that I had no vaginal tears due to having the section, but I was still wondering if it would be painful.

Because of this, we decided to take it slow. It took me a little while to relax because I was anxious, but it felt fine, and it was honestly the best sex I’ve ever had – and it has continued that way.

After months of not being able to orgasm – and fearing I never would again – it came back almost immediately during our first time after having our baby.

I decided to read up on exactly why I was now able to orgasm, and found that after you give birth, you can become a lot more sensitive to stimulation than you were before birth, especially as your hormones are all running wild and trying to get back to normal. And this has been the case with me.

And, because of how free I felt about my body during sex, it’s given me the confidence to continue trying new positions – and we even do it with the lights on now!

I feel being pregnant and having a baby has helped me get over that body-consciousness. My baby is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I love my body for creating him. It’s done something amazing and I’m done resenting it.

Due to my body hang-ups no longer being there and me finally being able to get off again, my partner and I have become even closer and more intimate since having our baby. I was scared that our sex life would become non-existent, because I’ve heard so many horror stories about how it just disappears after a baby – but it hasn’t for us.

It’s actually improved our sex life, and we still manage to do it around five to six times a week – though we are really lucky to have a chilled baby (I hope I haven’t jinxed it!).

I know that my partner feels just as content as I do – and it feels lovely to have someone who still finds me so attractive after birth, as I know it’s a time when lots of women feel very self-conscious.

I realise that everyone’s different, and I understand that many women don’t feel ready to have sex straight away – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The one thing I would say to other women thinking about having sex for the first time after birth is: do it when you feel ready, not when your partner feels ready.

Remember that it’s your body that has gone through something traumatic – so do it when the time is right for you and don’t feel pressured into doing it when you’re not ready.

If you want to wait until you’re given the okay by your doctor, or for even longer, that’s completely fine – it’s your decision, and your body. And you’re in control of it.

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