DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my wife and I try to have sex I can’t respond be­cause she has told me she is no longer in love with me.

We have been together for 20 years. I am 46 and she is 48. She has always been critical of how I touch her sexually. She doesn’t hold my hand or kiss me.

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My company gave me a bonus holiday to Las Vegas but we were like roommates for the whole week.

I tell her I love her and all she says is, “Thank you”. I have told her I feel sad and she says she is sad too.

I think she’s still interested in sex but not with me. Should I stay with her and see how things play out or see whether we can have an open marriage? I’ve got a good job so she enjoys the rewards that brings.

DEIDRE SAYS: People don’t just fall out of love. Practical, often resolv­able, issues eat away at their love until it disappears. Tackle them and your wife may fall in love with you again.

You say she has always been critical of how you touch her. Did you listen to what she was saying or could she have felt you were deaf to her needs? Ask her what you could do that would change how she feels.

My e-leaflet Thrilling A Woman In Bed could help you too.

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