DEAR DEIDRE: MY widowed dad is a wealthy man but he hasn’t offered any financial help towards his care and I can’t afford to support him any more.

I’m a 52-year-old man and my wife’s 51 but she’s too ill to work due to her own serious health conditions.


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I have been providing my dad’s evening meals every night, doing his gardening, housework, laundry and paying for any new tools or cleaning products too.

My brother helps out a little but I can’t carry on with this. I’ve spent our life savings trying to keep a roof over our heads.

I don’t know how to broach this with my 82-year-old dad. It’s bound to cause upset.

My brother just says: “It’s Dad. You know what he’s like, he’s always been like that.” But I’m stressed out with the unnecessary debt I’m falling into.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re a kind and caring man but overstretched. Your dad’s either being miserly or may not realise how much you’re struggling.

Talk to him and explain the effects this is having on you. If he objects to putting his hand in his pocket, tell him he’ll have to look at alternative arrangements.

My support pack Help For Carers explains more. You can find support by contacting Carers Direct (nhs.uk/carersdirect, 0300 123 1053).

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