DEAR DEIDRE: APPARENTLY it’s my responsibility to look after my partner’s son – even if that means quitting my job.

Her son moved in with us three years ago. He’s ten, I’m 42 and his mother is 45.

My partner is a carer and works night shifts at a care home, I work days as a reporter on the local newspaper.

I opted to work from home to look after her son, but have recently been offered a promotion which will require me to work late shifts from the office.

It’s a great opportunity for me, with a big pay rise.

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But when I told my partner, she lost it, calling me selfish. Her exact words: “This messes everything up for me.”

Am I being selfish? Is it my responsibility to look after him while she’s at work?

DEIDRE SAYS: It is certainly not your sole responsibility to ensure he is looked after.

She is the biological parent, not you, and should be taking the lead on childcare.

She could be worrying about finances prompting such an extreme outburst, but she isn’t considering your feelings or career.

Explain that you understand her concern, but also remind her what a good opportunity this is for you.

Go in with childcare solutions at the ready, as this may help to calm her worries and get her on your side.

I’m sending you my support pack on Standing Up For Yourself to help.

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