The dirtiest office secret of them all that no-one is talking about, writes JANA HOCKING … despite more than half of you having done it: ‘My version of a smoke break’

  • Jana Hocking claims a lot of people masturbate at work
  • She revealed that it helps people ‘let off steam’ 

It’s not often that I feel left out of the loop when it comes to sexy antics. I’ve got frisky in the great outdoors, considered a threesome, experimented with various pleasure toys, and kept up to date on all the latest sex trends.

But there’s one thing that a lot of you have been doing behind a very specific door I was not aware of.

This revelation came to light on Monday night when I was hosting my usual ‘tell me a saucy secret’ game on my Instagram. 

There is always at least one confession that sees my jaw drop to the floor. 

And this week it was a person who wrote in to say: ‘I masturbate at work daily in the bathroom. It’s my version of a smoke break.’ 

Jana Hocking: It’s not often that I feel left out of the loop when it comes to sexy antics, but there’s one thing that a lot of you have been doing behind a very specific door I wasn’t aware of

Well, to be fair, that’s one of the tamer ones. But it’s what happened next that really shook me.


Have you ever masturbated at work?

Have you ever masturbated at work?

Now share your opinion

I decided to conduct a scientific poll with my 27,000 followers to ask everyone if they had ever masturbated at work. 

I was thinking the results would come back with a very low number of people who do – but no, no, no. 

Turns out a whopping 51 per cent of my cheeky followers have done it. And what was more surprising, a lot of them were women.

Umm… excuse me… what??

While we’ve been tut-tutting the naughty workers going on their ‘smoke breaks’, we’ve completely missed the randy bunch ‘sorting themselves out’ in the work toilets.

I let my mind wander to the toilets at my work. Could I? The sterile white walls, the horrible squeaky doors and the slight waft of other people’s excrements really didn’t scream sexy. 

For me, it’s a firm no.

This girl needs a very comfy bed, dim lighting, nice smelling sheets and absolute quiet. Well, apart from my ‘movie’ of choice.

Jana was shocked when the results on an Instagram poll revealed that over 51 per cent of people had masturbated at work

I decided to reach out to one of my girlfriends who had ticked the ‘yes’ box to my cheeky question to find out how? Why? Where? And thankfully she really came to the party.

She revealed that she regularly takes her waterproof vibrator to her gym. She explained the bathrooms are gorgeous, with heavenly lighting, a nice smelling candle always burning, and the showers are next level chic. She said, ‘I don’t spend that much money on a boujee gym not to get my money’s worth.’

She further explained that she’s usually high on endorphins after a really good work out, and a quick ‘shower session’ was the perfect way burn those final calories.

She goes to the gym most weekday mornings, and she said the thought of a delayed orgasm not only helped get her out of bed and into the gym, but also made her speed through her workout. This girl has a rocking body, and now I know her secret.

But what about people who actually do it at work. My investigation was not complete until I delved deeper. I have a wonderfully candid friendship with one of my guy friends so I asked him directly: ‘Why the heck are people blowing their load in work toilets?’ He laughed and revealed that for many blokes, himself included, it was a great way to let off steam.

He said he once did it after a work colleague wore a short skirt to work. ‘She looked hot, and I was distracted all day. So rather than thirst after her I took myself to the bathroom and sorted it out. I felt a million times better and could get on with my job productively.’

Note to self: burn all short skirts. (Joking).

Jana revealed that several of her male friends thought ‘half the fun’ of masturbating at work was ‘trying to do it quietly’

I asked him if he was scared of getting caught, and he laughed again and said ‘no, half the fun is in trying to do it quietly.’ 

Another friend chimed in and said he gets off on the idea of getting caught. Wow.

Now we all know that masturbation works wonders for stress relief, but should we be incorporating it into our work routine? 

Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and instructor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College of Cornell University specialising in sex and relationships, recently told InStyle Magazine: ‘Masturbation can act as a reset button. It tells your brain that things are OK, that you can breathe and relax. And from a more relaxed state, energy can again be expansive and you can have access to the best parts of you to make decisions and be more creative.’

However, I’m pretty sure all our bosses are screaming ‘no’ to doing it in the office – and to that I say ‘fair call’. 

But perhaps we can make it part of our daily self-care. 

An orgasm a day may very well keep the doctor away.

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