I've fallen out of love with my partner and in love with her mum

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE fallen out of love with my girlfriend and in love with her mum.

I am a man of 23 and never had any interest in older women until now.

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But since I started going out with my girlfriend six months ago, I have developed strong feelings for her mum.

My girlfriend is 22 and still lives at home, so I’m at their house all the time and stay over most nights. Her mum says I’m welcome there any time.

We chat about sport, cars, the news — things my girlfriend is not particularly interested in.

Sometimes in the evenings my girlfriend goes to bed early and I stay up chatting to her mum.

We’ll have a glass of wine together. She has told me what a lovely young man I am and she is glad I make her daughter so happy.

But I’m living a lie. I can’t stop thinking about this woman — and not in a maternal way.

She is 45 but looks 30 and has a great figure.

When I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine I’m with her mum instead. Once I almost shouted her mum’s name at the crucial moment.

Our relationship can be a little intense — my girlfriend is very insecure — while I find talking to her mum calming.

As an older lady, she has so much confidence and maturity, which is really sexy.

She has not had a partner for a couple of years. I’m thinking of making a move on her.

But I do care for my girlfriend and don’t want to ruin my relationship with her.

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Could I have a relationship with both of them?

I can’t talk to anyone about this. My mates would laugh and my parents would be horrified.

DEIDRE SAYS: Making a move on your girlfriend’s mother is a really bad idea.

You have said nothing to suggest she feels the same way about you. You confide in her and she treats you like a son.

She clearly loves her daughter and would never consider stealing her child’s boyfriend.

The chances are that if you made a move, she would reject you, tell her daughter and everything would implode.

As for your girlfriend, imagine how she would feel to be betrayed by her boyfriend and humiliated that he wanted her mum instead.

Keep this as a fantasy and instead sort out your relationship. If you think things are moving too fast, tell your girlfriend.

My support pack Looking After Your Relationships should help. But if you think she is not right for you, it is only fair to end it.

In the meantime, keep your distance from her mum.

As you are under 25, you can contact themix.org.uk (0808 808 4994) for support.