DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE run up huge debts having sex with escorts but I can’t seem to stop.
I’m a guy of 25 and live with my parents. I work in computer programming and I will admit I’m a real geek.
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There have been plenty of times when I’ve tried to go on dates — but I always end up being friend-zoned.
I was complaining to a mate of mine last autumn because we had a company awards night to go to.
We could all take a “plus one” but I had nobody to go with me.
My friend passed me the card of an escort agency.
He had a girlfriend but said he’d used their services in the past.
I called them and paid a joining fee — then I could choose a girl from the website.
I didn’t think the girl would actually show up but when I pulled up in a cab outside the pub where we’d agreed to meet, there she was looking stunning.
She said she was 28 but she looked about 18.
We had a great evening and I introduced her as my girlfriend. My workmates looked pretty impressed.
The company was paying for rooms in the hotel for us all so when she asked whether I wanted her to stay on, I was quick to say yes.
I was a virgin but I didn’t tell her. She seemed happy to take the lead sexually and I was keen to go along with it all.
It cost loads but was an amazing night.
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When I tried to go out with this same girl again, I was told she had gone back to the Philippines to see her family, but they offered me somebody else.
Now I’m having sex at least once a week with escorts but with the hotel bills to pay too and sometimes dinner, I can’t keep doing this.
And when I get paid now, all of the money goes straight into my overdraft.
Mum and Dad think I’m seeing a girlfriend when I go out and keep asking when they can meet her.
I haven’t the courage to tell them what a mess I’m in.
DEIDRE SAYS: If you have been using these services since coronavirus arrived, you are lucky you haven’t caught it.
Let’s hope you haven’t passed it on either – and I assume you have been practising safe sex.
Paying for sex is not helping you find a long-term relationship, which deep down is what you want.
Make a pact now with yourself to stop using these sites and you can start paying off that overdraft. My e-leaflet Addicted To Sex? can help.
For now, focus on making friends rather than finding a partner.
If you enjoy computers, and perhaps gaming, find somebody else who does too.
A mutual interest is a great way of developing a friendship into something more meaningful.
My e-leaflet on Finding The Love Of Your Life explains how.
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