How do I tell my long-term friend-with-benefits I have a new man?

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I tell my long-standing male friend I have just started a relationship with a new man?

I am a woman of 33 and I have known this mate for 11 years. He is 34 and, occasionally, we would have sex.

Last year, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He stopped seeing me for a while but we kept in touch by email.

Two weeks ago he invited me round to see him but I feel awkward about telling him I have a boyfriend.

My new man is 36 and wants commitment but I fear my old friend may think I am rejecting him because of his illness.

DEIDRE SAYS: The more quickly you are open with him the less likely he is to suspect calculation on your part.

Write back to fix a date saying you are looking forward to seeing him and now have a boyfriend you are longing for him to meet.

Then he can digest how he feels about it before he has to respond.