Ah, Sherif, he’s been having a whale of a time with the Sunday papers.

Finally, we’ve been made privy as to why he was asked to leave the show, and he claims it involves a rogue foot in an unfortunate place, alongside a term that rhymes with “stunt runt.” For actual details, do make your way here.

Back to tonight’s shenanigans, and before the recoupling took place we were treated to a BRIDEZILLAS challenge (presumably inspired by Amy), which saw the girls dressed as brides, pulling the boy of their choice up the aisle, whereupon there was an exchange of rings and saliva. Needless to say, Maura pulled ‘Tammy Fury’ faster than you could say “madferrit.” Then, just when you thought it couldn’t become more erotic, the girls then had to engage in a food fight. The bride with the least messy dress won and that was Anna (Yewande, you were robbed). For the record, those with the messiest dresses were Amy and Lucie, mostly because they WENT for each other. Bigtime. Did Lucie have a problem with that? No. But you’ll never guess who did. Bestie, Amy.

MAURA OR MOLLY-MAE?!

Where’s Tommy’s head’s at after Maura literally put the lunge in on him last night? Well, he’s pulling a Molly-Mae and keeping his options open, you know, for the purposes of reality TV. Twitter at large is pretty much done with the Longford’s lassie’s unfiltered predatory predilections, with most spouting they’d prefer to see him stick with Molly-Mae.

Molly-Mae isn’t the only one viewers would be happy to see Tommy with… himself and Lucie are currently cultivating a strong friendship. Well, the girls in there seem pretty immature when it comes to platonic companionship. As has become customary, not everyone is thrilled about the pair getting along so well *coughs*Joe. Oh, Joe, if you took a leaf out of Tommy’s book and played it cool you’d probably have three girls vying for your attention also.

Instead, he whinged: “The whole thing with Tommy, it is strange. You were with him for a good hour.” He also dropped red flags along the lines of “you should be hanging around the girls more.” And “It’s disrespectful” to him to have boys as friends…

Lucie, love, you’re better off out of there. You’re too good for any of them. Fact.

RECOUPLING CONDENSED…

It looked like two girls were going to get dumped, with Anna and someone else largely in the firing line thanks to Sherif’s impromptu departure. Anton had always said he’d have her back, but then new Essex “babe” Elma came in, offered to maintain his eyebrows (and possibly shear his posterior in the absence of his mum) and massage his ego, so the Scot was a little troubled by the decision making process. For five minutes.

Danny chose… YEWANDE!!! WHOOOOOT. He better not mess her about…

Curtis chose… Amy

Michael chose… Amber

Joe chose… Current partner Lucie – despite wanting to change everything about her

Anton chose… Elma, leaving Anna high and dry

Tommy chose… Molly-Mae

Instead of being given their marching orders, the remaining two girls, Maura and Anna, are going on dates with newbies Jordan and Tom. Tom’s jawline is to die for, so Maura was quick to offer her services as a bed buddy.

TONIGHT’S TAKEAWAYS

• YEWANDE IS STRONG AF… Molly-Mae? Not so much

• Anna saying: “No wonder she doesn’t like hanging around with us, we don’t make her laugh like that”. Fact

• Amber always seems to be somewhere, stirring a pot of skitter

• I am so over underboob

• Ian Sterling’s ye’ olde gender stereotype quips involving Joe were just too apt. Like, scarily apt

OVERALL VIBE…

C’mon, they had to find a way to keep her in there. She’s made something that was quite vanilla now a more scarlet affair.

TOMORROW NIIIIIIGHT….

Lucie and Joe are (obvious) going to get bumped as all the couples in the villa need to nominate one couple they don’t see as compatible. Considering Joe has the personality of one of your more mundane sociopaths and 70 per cent of the people in there “don’t get Lucie”, they’re the clear choice. And that makes me sad. For Lucie…

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