Jennifer Lopez just gave a lengthy interview to Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1 to chat about her new music, and she fully opened up about her split with Ben Affleck back in 2004. “It was so painful after we broke up,” she said, via ET. “Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life, and I honestly felt like I was going to die.”
J.Lo added that the split impacted how she made music, saying “I didn’t make music in that way that I did in 2002 until now… It set me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn’t get it right. But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most, would never happen in Hollywood ending.”
Turns out when J.Lo and Ben got back together, she felt “so inspired and so overtaken with emotion that [music] was just pouring out of me.” The result? Her upcoming album, This Is Me…Now.
“True love does exist and some things do last forever,” she explained. “And that’s real. I want to put that message out to the world. That does take a lot of vulnerability, but I couldn’t stop myself. Parts of it scare me and I think parts of it scare Ben too. He’s like, ‘Do you really want to say all this stuff?’ And I’m like, ‘I don’t know how else to do it, baby.'”
Oh, and by the way J.Lo and Ben are fully forever this time around: “Now we know,” J.Lo confirmed. “There is no questions and there is no, ‘Well, let’s see how this goes.’ It’s like, ‘No, it’s me and you, that’s it. All the way, ’til the end.'”
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